On Valentine’s Day, we are expected to show loved ones how much they mean to us by giving them dead plants. For extra style points, we pay strangers to bring these dead plants to the recipient for us. However, florists are unfathomably busy on Valentine’s Day. So busy that we almost feel bad criticizing when things go wrong. Almost. The Consumerist’s annual Valentine’s Day Garden of Discontent is a collection of flower or gift deliveries that aren’t what the recipient had in mind. Such as calling your fianc√©e a whore.

The card that Joe’s fianc√©e received with her flowers yesterday looks like something that could have been circulating on the Internet since 1998 in a forwarded e-mail of funny typos. He didn’t find it all that funny.

Hi, I ordered a set of flowers from Teleflora for my Fiance to be delivered today, Valentines day. When she got them, she let me know there was a spelling mistake. I was wondering what it could be and then she sent me the attached picture.

This was not my intended message. I had said she was the best lover in the whole world. I tried calling Teleflora about it, but it seems as though their lines are all disconnected or overwhelmed. Am I the victim of mistyping by someone else, or is this more widespread and possibly a disgruntled employee making everyone pay?

There are more subtle ways to sabotage flower orders, like using a different woman’s name on e-mail solicitations. Or the card itself.

Mike ordered from FTD, and received something so different that he assumed there had been a mixup. Clearly this was someone else’s order, right? He was giving FTD too much credit.

My girlfriend is a freelancer, and I came home to see the flowers on the left, when I was promised the flowers on the right. I thought that they sent the wrong bouquet, but after looking at the details, it was the right one.

I immediately called FTD and they would only give me 30% back, which was ridiculous, considering that would only pay for the 21.99 shipping fee (insanity).

I demanded to speak to a supervisor, and she said she would get the florist who assembled this monstrosity to refund me the money. I was happy to get my money back, and of course the florist is at fault, but isn’t there some kind of quality control at this company? And then I thought that FTD probably crosses its fingers and hopes that the person sending the flowers doesn’t see the flowers they sent.

Either way, only going with local florists from now on.

First, find out which local florist it was that messed up the FTD order, if it was filled by a local florist. Then avoid them forever.

Here’s an early entry from February 9th, indicating that Teleflora was getting warmed up and ready to deliver inaccurate bouquets well before V-Day.

So, for my sister’s birthday, I ordered her the standard version of this.

What she got was the arrangement pictured in the attachment. Definitely not even remotely close.

This could be worse–the overall “gift box” theme of the arrangement is lost, sure, but at least the vase is square. Teleflora complaints are up, though: this funeral arrangement complaint was only a few months ago.

Nate paid extra for guaranteed Valentine’s Day delivery of his wife’s flowers. But he has no disappointing picture to show us, because the flowers never arrived.

I placed an order for flowers through 1-800-flowers.com the morning of February 13th to be delivered to my wife (for delivery on the 14th). They guaranteed delivery on the 14th. I actually paid an extra $5 handling fee to ensure they weren’t delivered a day early. Being a busy person with not enough time to slip out of the office today, it didn’t take convincing to pay the fee.

So, on top of the price for the flowers I ordered, I paid a total in $20 in shipping/handling/service fees. Valentines day came and went and nothing arrived. So, I’m out $80 bucks, have no flowers, have a disappointed (but totally understanding) wife, and an extremely frustrated husband. From looking at their FB wall, I’m not alone. EECB anyone!?

The problem, of course, is that everyone reading this will scold readers for not using a reputable local florist instead. The problem is, overwhelmed local florists are the ones filling orders for Teleflora and FTD, Badly.

PAST YEARS:
2011 Valentine’s Day Garden Of Discontent
2010 Valentine’s Day Garden Of Discontent

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