Back in September, waitresses spoke out — twice — about the things customers do that really piss them off. Not to be outdone by the waitstaff, CNN got a chef to go on the record about what kinds of customer behavior has him slightly overcooking your order.

Here are some notable outtakes from the list compiled by Ron Eyester of Atlanta’s Rosebud Restaurant:

On Birthday Celebrations:

I love how a restaurant is expected to acknowledge your birthday like it’s a national holiday or something. Who invented the rule that you get a free dessert on your birthday in a restaurant? I guess we have T.G.I.Friday’s and Bennigan’s to thank for exploiting servers as they, the servers, clap their hands and chant a birthday cheer.

You don’t get free pair of gloves or socks from Old Navy when you buy an outfit on your birthday. I actually will kid with our guests and let them know that on their birthday, ‘unfortunately, our mariachi band is off this evening’ – and, people believe me!

On Customers Rearranging Chairs & Tables:

Do you like it when people come over to your house and move your furniture around? Yeah, neither do we. We especially don’t like it when you decide to put chairs where we normally have people (i.e. our staff) walking…

[T]here was actually some logic and planning that went into putting the tables and chairs where we have them, so leave them the f#@$ alone!

On Phone Etiquette:

Why do people always seem to call the restaurant at the absolute worst time (i.e. between 12:45 and 1:30 p.m. and 7 and 9 p.m.) to inquire about our menu or make a reservation?

‘Yes, please tell me about your food’ Really? Do you not have access to the World Wide Web? It’s great when they request a verbal tour of the menu. And, why is it that all these people share an uncanny, common denominator – they all talk so slow!

See chef Eyester’s entire rant over at CNN.com.

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