Verizon Wireless Wants You Back, Turns Into Creepy Stalker With No Concept Of Time Zones

Verizon Wireless really, really loved Mike. That’s the only conclusion we can draw from the carrier’s attempts to woo him back. Unfortunately, the company with a nationwide customer base doesn’t seem to understand this whole “time zones” thing we have going on, and called Mike a little too early for his taste.

I recently ported my number from Verizon to a different carrier. To woo me back, after the porting was finished and the account was closed out, they called me on three or four different occasions at 7:15 in the morning.

I finally got around to telling them never to call me again. They were very honest that they were calling me to get my business back, and that by the way, they only call after 10 AM EST. I’m in Los Angeles, so this is not a courtesy. It’s like being pursued by a vindictive ex. Plus I had to give my full name, former account number, and the last four digits of my SSN in order for them to stop calling. Since I’m no longer their customer, this information is no longer any of their business, and if I’d gotten more sleep, I would have given them a harder time.

Oh, wait, that’s what I’m doing now.

If Verizon wants to win Mike back, they need to start by respecting his boundaries. Then they’ll need to wait out his new contract.