Man Caught Trying To Sneak 97 M-Fing Snakes On This M-Fing Plane

It’s been leading up to this all summer… First, there was the idiot caught with 18 monkeys under his shirt at an airport in Mexico. Then, animal smuggling got cute and cuddly when a woman in Thailand was snagged hiding a tiger cub in her suitcase. And now internet meme has become reality as one of the world’s most wanted wildlife smugglers gets arrested in Malaysia with nearly 100 endangered snakes in his luggage.

The smuggler, who recently served 6 years in a U.S. prison for similar crimes, was detained by authorities at the airport in Kuala Lumpur earlier this week after airport employees spotted the rare reptiles slithering out of his busted suitcase as it passed down a conveyor belt.

According to reports, inspectors found 95 boa constrictors, two venomous rhinoceros vipers and, for good measure, a mata mata turtle.

This particular trafficker has previously escaped punishment in Malaysia, but wildlife groups are hoping that the international attention being given to this incident will see that he answers for the allegations.

Says a rep from TRAFFIC, an organization that monitors wildlife trading — and who are responsible for bringing the tiger cub story to light:

This matter cannot be taken lightly. Malaysia must rise to the challenge to rival those fearlessly involved in wildlife smuggling… Their attempt at mocking Malaysia’s legal system must be dealt with head-on. There is no excuse to be lax on a criminal offense of any nature.

But, this being Consumerist, we really want to know: Did he get his checked-baggage fee back from the airline?

Snakes found on a plane! [Mother Nature Network]


Edit Your Comment

  1. Shadowfire says:

    They found 97 snakes. How many haven’t been found and are still on the m-f’ing plane?

  2. Torgonius wants an edit button says:

    But.. But… He was only going to use them on screaming babies!

  3. AllanG54 says:

    The point we’re missing here is that baggage handlers AGAIN broke someone’s luggage. If they hadn’t this probably would have gone unnoticed.

  4. pantheonoutcast says:

    “The smuggler, who recently served 6 years in a U.S. prison for similar crimes…”

    It’s good to see the “rehabilitation” aspect of our justice system working so well, isn’t it?

    • Dunkelzahn says:

      Now now, we all know that Prison is just College for criminals…

      • Happy Tinfoil Cat says:

        Even with his “college” education, he was caught again. Still not very good at it; time for a new occupation. I’d think he could make more money by going on a speaking circuit explaining how endangered species are trafficked.

        • Dunkelzahn says:

          We all know that College educations only expand knowledge… they don’t account for actual skill or willingness to perform the duties in the field they’re trained in.

          I know a fair amount of college educated scumbags who are not nearly as good at their jobs as high school/college dropouts.

        • AgamemnonV1 says:

          College educations don’t necessarily help to thwart detection, but just help you become a bigger idiot. Take the financial crisis going on, for example. A lot of the people involved and responsible were Ivy league grads.

          But uh, hey, college educations are still somehow important.

  5. Rocket says:

    I’ve had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane.

    • hotdogsunrise says:

      This is the best line from a movie ever. Even if it was the edited version. It makes me happy.

      • AstroPig7 says:

        Have you ever seen the edited versions of Cheech & Chong movies?

        • Dunkelzahn says:

          Better yet, the best edited for TV line ever… From The Big Lebowski:

          This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps and feed him scrambled eggs!

          • hotdogsunrise says:

            I understand there are other funny lines from edited movies. But this one just strikes me as more funny than the others.

            We can agree that there are some great quotes from edited movies.

  6. tiz says:

    i would like to know how he got 97 slithering snakes INTO his luggage in the first place! i breed snakes as a hobby, and it’s hard enough handling 2, let alone 97!

    • tsukiotoshi says:

      Smugglers often sedate them and then roll them up in socks and the like. Here I’m not so sure. If he sedated them to get them in it was certainly not enough to keep them from making a break for it by the time his luggage broke!

  7. Scoobatz says:

    Fortunately, this would never happen in the US due to baggage fees.

  8. banmojo says:

    Put the m-fr into a closed cell with his m-fing cargo and tape the m-fr and play it on tv for all us other m-frs to enjoy and let the hilarity ensue, esp with those m-fing vipers, yay!

  9. Sparty999 says:

    Of course the airline f-ed up his suitcase in order to figure it out. Stupid baggage handlers…

  10. shemnon says:

    So it’s 97 monkey fighting snakes on the monday to friday plane?

  11. aaron8301 says:

    I had to Google me a Sam Jackson soundboard because I had this mental image of him stuck in my head.

    I just imagined him in an interrogation room with the suspect, waving a Desert Eagle, saying “What do you mean you didn’t do anything? We caught you with 97 m-fing snakes on the m-fing plane!”

  12. ouijabored says:

    How the heck did he get all the snakes INTO his suitcase in the first place?! That can’t have been easy at all.

    Sidenote: this is my absolute nightmare, I have the heebie-jeebies something awful now!

  13. HogwartsProfessor says:

    I desperately need to see that movie. Even if it sucks.

    • moorie679 says:

      Now now…. I have to disagree, it is one of the greatest movies….has action – drama – nudity even answers to philosophical questions… it is a survival guide *what would you do if you were stuck on a mfing plane with mfing snakes, build a suitcase barrier of course which snakes cannot go over.*

  14. laughingweek says:

    How do that many animals even FIT in a suitcase? and the turtle wasn’t dead in seconds?

    so many details I’m curious about here!

  15. BytheSea says:

    Ughhh. Just. Ughhhhh.

  16. BATL says:

    Why smuggle snakes when there is so much demand for narcotics?