Why do gift cards suck? Let’s see, how about expiration dates? Upfront and back-end fees? And, oh, the fact that if a retailer goes bankrupt, that shiny piece of plastic may become worthless (unless you know that fancy trick that lets you use it to pick locks). Yes, we know the government is working on fixing some of the most egregious problems with gift cards. But in the meantime, what can you do if you have no idea what to give someone? We’ve got the answer: It’s called cash, and we’re here to help make it easier for you to give it.

Our gift to you this holiday season is the Consumerist Anti-Gift Card. Printed on glossy card stock, and packaged in a classy little envelope, it’s the perfect gift for that hard-to-please person on your list. If you slip a couple of bills into the envelope with it, that is.

To get one, just send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to:

To get more than one, send more than one self-addressed, stamped envelope. Give them to all your friends. And don’t forget the cash!

(And if, by any chance, you’d like to make a donation to The Consumerist, feel free to put a check or money order in the envelope along with your SASE. Checks or money orders should be made out to “Consumer Reports Foundation: Consumerist Fund.” We’re a non-profit, and every donation helps us do our work. And, sorry; as much as we like cash, please do not send any to us! If you’d like to donate by credit card, you can do so here.)

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