A new poll out from U.K. retailer Debenhams casts a dim light on the personal purchasing habits of the men of that country. According to the poll, British guys typically count on their mums to buy their underwear until they’re 19. After that, they finally catch on and realize they should pick it out on their own, the better to woo young women, who generally start picking out their own “knickers” when they’re about 13.
After they turn 19, guys go on a shopping spree, apparently to make up for lost time and replace those charming undies selected by mom.
“Our research shows that you can tell when a man is looking for a partner by the number of new underpants they buy for themselves,” said Debenhams Head of Men’s Accessories Buying, Rob Faucherand. “If he buys more than 31 pairs every year then he’s either still trying desperately to impress the woman in his life — or else she’s not The One.”
After they turn 23, men basically stop buying underwear altogether, presumably because they’re leaving it to girlfriends or wives — or have gone back to mom (if there’s another reason, we don’t want to know). Midlife crises fuel a brief bulge in sales for guys in their late 30s, who slink back to their spouses after a couple of years, and stop picking out their own underwear for the rest of their lives.