She has some form of pump attached to her face. She’s moving her head up and down rhythmically… What the….??

She’s using a Neckline Slimmer, of course!! Part neck brace, part tracheotomy, part pogostick, it is a special “system” (actually it’s a coil with a chin rest) that promises to “tighten the muscles that keep your face and neck looking young and beautiful.”

Invented by a former PE teacher (wow!), the Neckline Slimmer can be yours for only $19.99 plus shipping and handling. And you need never be without it, for it comes with a luxury carrying pouch. But seriously, where would you take it? We can only imagine the discussion at customs…. “It’s not what you’re thinking! It’s a pump to eliminate my turkey neck…”

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.