After a series of tense negotiations, Gawker Media Network was able to buy The Conglomerist back from Haberdasher Communications. The deal used equity raised by selling structured investment vehicles that capitalized on the securitization of pageviews. Chad Steelgate, April O’ Neil, and friends, have been transfered to a Convergys call center where they will work as retention specialists for what remains of America Online. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress.

P.S. The only article that were outright fakes were LEAKS: Best Buy To Purchase Wal-Mart, Irregardless Is A Real Word, 5 Helpful Grocery Shopping Tips From The Conglomerist, Conglomerist: What To Do With Rebates So You Don’t Have To Redeem Them, 5 Steps To Being A Savvy Shopper, the Muppets financial advice, the refurbished Macbook Airs, and Introducing The Conglomerist. The rest were mainly true except for their tone.

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