Introducing The Conglomerist

Dear Reader,

Hi! I’m Chad Steelgate from Haberdasher Communications and I’m really excited to announce that our team has purchased The Consumerist from Gawker Media Network. You may notice a few changes around here, just some minor tweaks, I assure you. Irregardless, it’s the same blog you know and love. For starters, one small alteration, the blog will now be called The Conglomerist.


Chad Steelgate


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  1. harryhoody says:

    April Fool’s?

  2. qwickone says:

    @harryhoody: dear god i hope so

  3. HunterJoules says:

    I was wondering if the Consumerist would run an April Fool’s joke.


  4. missdona says:

    Bah-ha-ha. Very Funny Chad-Steelgate.

  5. LVP says:

    April Fools I hope.

  6. Myotheralt says:

    you forgot to update the site name banners

  7. CRSpartan01 says:

    Almost funny?

  8. Still looks like it says “The Consumerist” to me. You guys need consistent and up-to-date branding. It’s been at least 7 minutes.

  9. chrisfromnl says:

    Heres the press release on youtube

  10. racerchk says:

    Uhm is this an april fools joke??

  11. chauncy that billups says:

    hmm, kinda fail.

  12. fluiddruid says:

    This is a lame one. Woot’s was better.

  13. Me - now with more humidity says:

    Why does every website feel the need to pull this same lame April Fool’s joke?

  14. The essence of a good April Fool’s Joke is a) pulling it when someone least expects it, b) making it seem so plausible that any doubt the subject has is reasoned away, and c) thinking up a better name than Chad Steelgate.

  15. forgottenpassword says:

    yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah…… ok.

  16. valarmorghulis says:

    @NefariousNewt: * – see for examples.

  17. Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg says:

    I admit it – I got sucked in for a second. But “The Conglomerist” was just too over the top. If it had been a bit more subtle this probably would have been the longest thread of the year, full of outraged readers screaming about Ben “selling out”.

    I give it a 6. Amusing, but seemed like a token effort

  18. Traveshamockery says:

    He He he….I’m so fooled!

  19. MissPeacock says:

    My tummy turned upside down for about a nanosecond. And then I giggled.

  20. Valhalla926 says:

    Try again. I suggest claiming Walmart’s gone the way of Bear Sterns.

  21. mastmaker says:

    Is that PREGNANT Chad?

  22. savvy9999 says:

    It would have been funny for .5 seconds longer, had the name been changed to The Corporatist.

  23. shammer says:

    Chad Steelgate sounds like an awesome porn star name, I wish I would have thought of it!


    Not to be antagonistic, but this April Fool’s is sort of lame – or more to the point, the commenters who suggest they bought the joke are lame. However, I will take it beacuse it’s only 10 a.m and I need something to read.

    So anyway – it’s been 15 minutes since the last post – what’s the deal, CHAD? New to the Gawker Network?

  25. endersshadow says:

    Oh, go all out and change the logo!

  26. MPHinPgh says:

    @fluiddruid: Ohhhhhhhh….Now I Get It.

    That seemed like a really odd description for something they were trying to SELL. I guess I’m getting a little slow in my old age.

  27. Gev says:

    Wow, that was lame.

  28. humphrmi says:

    I like Google’s April Fool’s joke: []

    I don’t see anything funny at Slashdot today though. :(

  29. Wormfather says:

    I lold irl…not.

  30. hubris says:

    Yeah, that was pretty week. GMail’s was worthy of a chuckle, as is thinkgeek’s.

  31. Traveshamockery says:

    I have noticed no other changes around the website, “Chad”. You should have at least changed the logo. That would have fooled me for at least three seconds.

  32. dookas says:

    Rip off of “Stuff White People Like”‘s AF joke….WEAK

  33. dookas says:

    Teh Googlez has two AF jokes

  34. the10 says:

    This one was funny, I thought. Apple Tattoo Rewards Program.

  35. UX4themasses says:

    It’s a bit late. We should have seen this before 8 AM EST.

  36. humphrmi says:

    @omerhi: Yeah, Think Geek’s I think is pretty funny.

    Dear Consumerist, here’s how to pull off a funny April Fool’s joke: []

  37. Sherryness says:

    Haha – This is like when Diary-X posted that they’d been bought by Sanrio and changed the look/theme to all Hello Kitty stuff. It was hysterical. Good job!

  38. Kat@Work says:

    I love that his name is Steelgate. Totally gives it away. ;P

  39. trogam says:

    Enough with the April Fools already! Two sites trying to pull really bad April Fool’s is more than enough!

  40. Sherryness says:

    @humphrmi: Funny that it was only $29.99. Funnier yet is the very last “feature” of the list items.

  41. DearEditor says:

    I pity the fool who falls for this foolin’.

  42. DeepFriar says:

    I, for one, welcome our new corporate deities, as does Mr. T

  43. dbson says:

    Worst. April. Fools. Ever.

  44. dbson says:

    I’d rather be rick roll’d

  45. The Great Aussie Evil says:


  46. thelushie says:

    Happy April Fools Day!

  47. faust1200 says:

    As long as you can that hack Ben Popken!!!! kkthx!

  48. ChadSteelgate says:

    These comments have not been approved by our legal team. I demand that you cease and desist commenting until passing your comments through legal first.



  49. BlondeGrlz says:

    @omerhi: The thinkgeek site is awesome today. I wonder how many people will actually try to order a USB pregnancy test? It took until “availability: pickle aisle” for me to see any clues that it *might* not be real.

  50. OSURoss says:

    Really? Really? This is about as funny as a motorcycle accident…

  51. taylorich says:

    @ChadSteelgate: Lame. We expect better. I’m sending an EECB to Gawker about this one.

  52. Chongo says:

    I blame the OP on this one. Most likely he is fat

  53. taylorich says:

    Let me assure you, The Consumerist takes lame April Fool’s jokes seriously.

  54. matsayz says:


  55. taylorich says:

    1. Admit fault, quickly.
    2. Say sorry like you mean it.
    3. Give conciliatory gift of monetary value.

  56. Claystil says:


  57. ninjatales says:

    That was too obvious. April Fool’s Day!

  58. Blackneto says:

    Wow, no one will get chided for blaming the consumer anymore.

  59. ? graffiksguru says:

    ha ha Chad

  60. Mariajl says:

    Oh common…. I really expected a bit more creativity…

  61. corvi_yallis says:

    this is definitely not april fools. ben is going to send us free laptops too.

  62. SOhp101 says:

    I thought consumerist would do a better job with their april fool’s but i guess this isn’t too bad.

  63. DeafChick says:

    Aprils Fool.

  64. Manji Kengo says:

    Not a very good april fools joke. It’s way too obvious.

    Kaketaku brings you all the latest in cakes.

    Gizmodo is throwing down mr.t in all their articles.

  65. SabrinaFaire says:

    Lighten up folks! It’s an April Fools joke. Jeez. It’s too bad among Think Geek’s new “offerings” there wasn’t a pole extractor.

  66. strangeffect says:

    Weak with a capital pathetic.

  67. ColoradoShark says:

    Clearly, you people are taking this very seriously.

  68. @blondegrlz: Their stuff is always the best. I don’t know about the USB Pregnancy Test but I want Spazztroids – Caffeinated Cereal!

  69. mike says:


    Without the change in banner, it doesn’t really do it for me.

  70. I actually believed this for an hour. Good job guys.

  71. @sohmc: Agreed.

  72. Trai_Dep says:

    I’m quite annoyed that The Conglomerist is blocked to all readers that aren’t on the Interwebs thru Comcast. Or Comcast customers should get cookies (I heard the Interwebs are filled with cookies!) Didn’t they rank quite highly in last year’s poll? Where’s our due, damn it?

    Typical Liberal collectivist hypocrisy. Harumph!

  73. Trai_Dep says:

    PS: Vote to change the banner to an equally kewl COLLECTIVIST. STAT!!

  74. whanghpo says:

    fine business, old man……

  75. Did you guys at least keep ben on board???

  76. tme2nsb says:


  77. jk09 says:

    This first change I’ve noticed is that the Consumerist is now sticking up for corporations — like Orbitz. Also, where the heck is Ben?

  78. Maulleigh says:

    there is no stopping them; the conglomerists will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new overlords

  79. jeblis says:

    Does everyone do the merge/buy/bought April fools joke?

  80. overbysara says:


  81. RocketRockit says:

    I don’t like Gawker April Fool’s.

  82. gmss0205 says:

    Couldn’t come up with a better April Fools joke than that?

  83. toddvm says:

    @taylorich: I agree. An EECB should stop this crap. My time is worth something.

  84. sean77 says:

    I’d say that posting a crapload of april fools jokes mixed in with real articles is a disservice to your readers. Makes you no better than the faceless corporations you love to make fun of.

  85. mamacat49 says:

    Dear Chad,
    Stop using the word “irregardless.” It’s stupid, and, apparently you are, too.

  86. jeff303 says:

    @dbson: Sorry we don’t sink to such lame levels around here. On a completely unrelated note, have you seen some of those featured videos at [] today? They’re fantastic!

  87. FuriousGeorge160 says:

    Who does Steelgate think he is? Robert Aske?
    or more like Joseph Merrick? eh, eh?
    Shame with your philanthropy.
    Ribbon and buttons me arse.

  88. Blueskylaw says:

    Dear Reader,

    Hi! I’m Chad Steelgate from Haberdasher Communications and I’m really excited to announce that our team has purchased The New York Times. You may notice a few changes around here, just some minor tweaks, I assure you. Irregardless, it’s the same paper you know and love. For starters, one small alteration, the paper will now be called The Green Cigar.


    Chad Steelgate

  89. Craysh says:

    Irregardless isn’t a word :P

  90. synergy says:

    Someone tell the Consumerist people that “irregardless” doesn’t exist. It’s the second time I see it used by Consumerist. Ugh. Are these journalism/English major graduates??