Bob Dougherty went to Home Depot. He wasn’t feeling very well in a “Jo-Ann Fabrics” sort of way, so he used Home Depot’s bathroom.

Unbeknownst to Bob, some hilarious individual had doused the toilet seat with superglue, instantly joining Bob’s ass and the toilet seat in an unholy union that was to be the subject of a 4-year-long legal battle.

Bob says no one at the Home Depot would help him. He says they thought it was a hoax and ignored his pleas for help. Bob says he became frighted and sat there swallowing nitroglycerin pills for his severe heart condition while waiting for someone to rescue him. Eventually, after another customer called 911, paramedics had to unbolt the toilet seat and take both Bob and it to the emergency room.

The operation proved unwieldy and the seat was torn from Bob’s butt in transit, resulting in a very unappetizing photograph of Bob’s angry, red bare ass that you can view at The Smoking Gun. This was 2003. Now Bob says the incident gave him post-traumatic stress disorder and that he’s developed diabetes as a direct result of Home Depot’s negligence. Bob says Home Depot didn’t offer to pay for his medical bills, including the ambulance and the emergency room visit. According to CBS4Denver, they offered him $2,000, but he turned it down calling it “an insult.”

Speaking with CBS4Denver, Bob said,

“I don’t believe I have much of a future ahead because of that status of by diabetes and I’m still going through these nightmares, and it still creates a lot of anxiety which increases my sugar levels consistently. It’s very difficult to express how much.. in depth.. this has taken over my body. It’s totally changed my way of life, period. I don’t feel comfortable going out anymore. My whole personality is somewhat changed because I’m not out there with anybody. I’m not associating. I’m pretty much introverting and just staying at my home. I’m not as outgoing as I once used to be. I don’t go out and enjoy my sports… to go fishing. It’s totally changed my entire life.

I’m nothing more than a crumpled cripple sitting at home, waiting to die.

There are a lot of people who will laugh at this situation, and I suppose there’s some realm of slapstick that we’ve been taught to laugh at, but when this happens, this is serious. When.. it.. it.. changed my entire life. I’m not able to go out and enjoy the things that I used to. Going out just to.. dating and/or fishing. And/or doing most anything common. I’m not capable of doing this anymore.

Bob was recently rushed to the hospital in a diabetic coma, according to the Daily Camera. His lawyer says:

“Our contention has been that his post-traumatic stress disorder brought about his diabetic condition,” he said. “So you can say, ‘Well, this would not have occurred but for (the toilet-seat incident.)'”

If Dougherty were to die before the case goes to trial, Cohen said, “The law limits his (estate’s) ability to collect damages for pain and suffering.”

“But he really wants to have his day in court,” Cohen said.

The lawsuit is set to go to trial March 31, 2008. We will now tastefully end the story so you can discuss it.

Sticky Seat Case: The Smoking Bum? [The Smoking Gun]
Man glued to Home Depot toilet seat recovering from coma [Daily Camera]
Man Speaks About Home Depot Toilet Seat Incident [CBS4Denver]

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