Ever notice how freaking long it takes to get to your messages? You’re told three times in a row that a message is about to play. “You have one unheard message. The following message has not been heard. First unheard message.”

Do people really need to be warned that much that they’re about to hear a message? Will people otherwise forget they’re listening to their messages, and think that someone is talking to them and try to reply ,and then get mad at the cellphone company when the other person can’t hear them, and chew up precious customer service time demanding refunds?

Or is it that checking voicemail uses up your minutes…

(in-network free calling be damned (unless it’s T-mobile)). So, if the cellphone company can increase the time you’re listening to your voicemail by four seconds every time, that has the potential to add up to mucho dollars of revenue when you multiply that across their entire subscriber base. Sneaky.

Red Tape Chronicles offers these no-duh suggestions for staunching the attrition:

• “If you retrieve voicemail during the day, access it “remotely” from your office phone as often as possible. That will save you cell phone minutes.”
• “Get to know shortcuts that allow you to bypass voicemail menu trees as quickly as possible. Saving one minute per call could really add up by the end of the month.”

Voicemail calls, and no calls, can be costly [Red Tape Chronicles]
(Photo: Getty)

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