Comcast Tech Didn't Rape Customer, His DNA Was Just On Her Breasts

A jury acquitted Gustavo Cardenas, an outsourced Comcast cable tech, of raping a 25-year-old-single mother, the Daily Herald reports. Investigators found Cardenas’ DNA in saliva on the victim’s breasts.

Hearing the verdict, Cardenas broke into a broad smile aimed at his bosses from Baker Installations, a subcontractor for Comcast, who watched the trial.

“I’m free,” he said as he headed out of the courthouse.

Those crazy Comcast kids, always getting into scrapes and hijinx inside customer’s homes. — BEN POPKEN

Cable installer acquitted of abuse charges [Daily Herald] (Thanks to Ian!)

(Image: Saliva Slingers)