Sometimes, a complaint can make up for the fact that we have no idea what the hell the complainant is talking about through pure, foul-mouthed energy. Congratulations, Tommy T! You sent us just such a complaint.

The complaint is against Fido, a company we’d never heard of, being in Canada and all. Reading into Tommy’s email, it becomes clear that Fido has sold him some a contract in which he’d have unlimited calls for the first six months.

Then Fido started sending Tommy bills for thousands of dollars, with no explanation given. Our favorite part of Tommy’s email is when they suggest that his thousand dollar bill is a result of calling 411, which is not covered under the unlimited offer. Tommy Tourette’s retort?

“YES. YESSS. YOU SMALL PRICKED ASSHOLE I CALL 411 HUNDREDS OF TIMES A WEEK. SOMETIMES JUST TO SAY HI. YOU CAUGHT ME. “

Ah, poor Tommy. Read his highly entertaining email lambasting Fido after the jump. “I will die before I pay that bill… the billing department can call me from HELL!”

I “technically” owe Fido close to a grand, and they ethically owe me 4 months of my life back.

I signed up during a special promotion, (special=fake), where EVERYTHING was to be unlimited for the first 6 months of my contract (phone calls and texts).
I’m no math whiz, but if everything is unfuckinglimited, how the hell did I wind up with a a bill of $300.00 during the first month?
(Sadly, now I look back to the days of the bill only being $300.00 fondly.)

I fought them, called them, went to the place where I signed up, (eaton centre), I was continuously told that everything would be fixed, but nothing ever was.
Finally, in the end I decided to just terminate my little contract. What would an extra $200 termination fee mean on top of a bill I have no intention of paying anyway?

Just a couple of highlights from my time with those motherfuckers->

-they cut my service off for lack of payment, (extortion was more like it), recognized that was their mistake, then BILLED me for starting my service up again

-they continuously promised that the bill would be fixed but it never was
-OH! except that ONE time when it was fixed, and everything was better, my bill was $30, the sun was shining, birds were singing, until the following week when it miraculously jumped to $400 again.

-they charged me a fee to send me my “current” invoice so I could take it to a lawyer, only to really send me a copy of my original contract because they couldn’t find my invoice in the system, (HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???)

-some lil fucker PROMISED me on the phone that my service, which had been turned off would be turned back on in x amount of minutes and he would call me to prove it to me. When he didn’t call, I figured he was busy, so I waited an extra hour before calling him and asking for him by his number, only to be told that he had REQUESTED TO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME ANYMORE because I was “short” with him

-a CSR told me to go downtown to the Fidofuckers head office, and when I got there they wouldn’t let me in because they don’t deal with the public

-a Fido rep agreed to meet with me at the place where I purchased their service to go over my contract, and then not only didn’t show up, but called in LATE saying he couldn’t make it

-once when arguing that my bill was insanely high even though everything was unlimited so there was no way it could be my fault that it was hundreds of dollars the CSR said; “well… do you call 411? Because that is not included in the unlimited contract..?” YES. YESSS. YOU SMALL PRICKED ASSHOLE I CALL 411 HUNDREDS OF TIMES A WEEK. SOMETIMES JUST TO SAY HI. YOU CAUGHT ME.

There is not another business on Earth where you cannot under any circumstance get in touch with a supervisor. They promised me every week that a supervisor would call me, and I was with them for four months, do you think anyone except the billings department called? NO.

They are such an unbearably unethical company that I actually take their actions personally. Not against me per se, but against humans in general. No one, NO ONE deserves the type of treatment these bastards dish out.
If I wanted to be in an abusive relationship I would go out and find one. At least then I’d probably be getting sex too. Fido will fuck you, but not in a good way.

I’m now with Telus, (fuck the dog, and go to the frog), and my bill is exactly what they said it would be every single month, (knock on wood-don’t want to curse myself…)

There should be a recovery program for people who have suffered through the Fido experience, half of Canada would be there, it could be a great way to meet new people.

(ps-> I will die before I pay that bill…. the billings department can call me from Hell)

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