Fido: The New Four Letter F-Word

Sometimes, a complaint can make up for the fact that we have no idea what the hell the complainant is talking about through pure, foul-mouthed energy. Congratulations, Tommy T! You sent us just such a complaint.

The complaint is against Fido, a company we’d never heard of, being in Canada and all. Reading into Tommy’s email, it becomes clear that Fido has sold him some a contract in which he’d have unlimited calls for the first six months.

Then Fido started sending Tommy bills for thousands of dollars, with no explanation given. Our favorite part of Tommy’s email is when they suggest that his thousand dollar bill is a result of calling 411, which is not covered under the unlimited offer. Tommy Tourette’s retort?


Ah, poor Tommy. Read his highly entertaining email lambasting Fido after the jump. “I will die before I pay that bill… the billing department can call me from HELL!”

I “technically” owe Fido close to a grand, and they ethically owe me 4 months of my life back.

I signed up during a special promotion, (special=fake), where EVERYTHING was to be unlimited for the first 6 months of my contract (phone calls and texts).
I’m no math whiz, but if everything is unfuckinglimited, how the hell did I wind up with a a bill of $300.00 during the first month?
(Sadly, now I look back to the days of the bill only being $300.00 fondly.)

I fought them, called them, went to the place where I signed up, (eaton centre), I was continuously told that everything would be fixed, but nothing ever was.
Finally, in the end I decided to just terminate my little contract. What would an extra $200 termination fee mean on top of a bill I have no intention of paying anyway?

Just a couple of highlights from my time with those motherfuckers->

-they cut my service off for lack of payment, (extortion was more like it), recognized that was their mistake, then BILLED me for starting my service up again

-they continuously promised that the bill would be fixed but it never was
-OH! except that ONE time when it was fixed, and everything was better, my bill was $30, the sun was shining, birds were singing, until the following week when it miraculously jumped to $400 again.

-they charged me a fee to send me my “current” invoice so I could take it to a lawyer, only to really send me a copy of my original contract because they couldn’t find my invoice in the system, (HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???)

-some lil fucker PROMISED me on the phone that my service, which had been turned off would be turned back on in x amount of minutes and he would call me to prove it to me. When he didn’t call, I figured he was busy, so I waited an extra hour before calling him and asking for him by his number, only to be told that he had REQUESTED TO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME ANYMORE because I was “short” with him

-a CSR told me to go downtown to the Fidofuckers head office, and when I got there they wouldn’t let me in because they don’t deal with the public

-a Fido rep agreed to meet with me at the place where I purchased their service to go over my contract, and then not only didn’t show up, but called in LATE saying he couldn’t make it

-once when arguing that my bill was insanely high even though everything was unlimited so there was no way it could be my fault that it was hundreds of dollars the CSR said; “well… do you call 411? Because that is not included in the unlimited contract..?” YES. YESSS. YOU SMALL PRICKED ASSHOLE I CALL 411 HUNDREDS OF TIMES A WEEK. SOMETIMES JUST TO SAY HI. YOU CAUGHT ME.

There is not another business on Earth where you cannot under any circumstance get in touch with a supervisor. They promised me every week that a supervisor would call me, and I was with them for four months, do you think anyone except the billings department called? NO.

They are such an unbearably unethical company that I actually take their actions personally. Not against me per se, but against humans in general. No one, NO ONE deserves the type of treatment these bastards dish out.
If I wanted to be in an abusive relationship I would go out and find one. At least then I’d probably be getting sex too. Fido will fuck you, but not in a good way.

I’m now with Telus, (fuck the dog, and go to the frog), and my bill is exactly what they said it would be every single month, (knock on wood-don’t want to curse myself…)

There should be a recovery program for people who have suffered through the Fido experience, half of Canada would be there, it could be a great way to meet new people.

(ps-> I will die before I pay that bill…. the billings department can call me from Hell)


Edit Your Comment

  1. North of 49 says:

    Telus is a monopoly with landlines too. Then again, I hate Shaw and would love to see Telus bring in cable too just as shaw is bringing in digital phone. At that point, I’d screw shaw over and go to just one provider for “all my needs.”

    But Fido – UGH! I hated it from the moment I saw them. I tried getting a cel from them years ago and the suckers at the fido store wouldn’t give me the time of day. Guess my money isn’t good enough for them.

    Then there’s Rogers. We too supposedly “owe” them nearly 1K for another bait and switch. You know – one low price for free unlimited calling for X months. Well, our first bill, which was supposed to have been a free phone (two really) was over $300! Now its over 900 and they are trying to collect from us. And we can’t even download the pics from our cameras either. We need to find the Motorola program to do so in order to get the pics off. But that’s an extra 40-50 IF we can find the program online!

    And to top it off, I think our area is “roaming US” because we’re so close to the border instead of within normal cel range. Last time I checked, my city was well within the Canadian Border!

  2. dissolution says:

    Fido is owned by Rogers now? Could this be the route you go to get some satisfaction?

    They used to be a good company back when they were owned by Microcell and none of their plans required signing a contract. Now they’re just like the rest I suppose.

  3. dissolution says:

    Doh. That should have been a period. Fido IS owned by Rogers now. Not a question.

  4. He says:

    Motorola Phone Tools you say? 40-50 bucks? Behold: (It’s all about e815s, but I don’t think that particular program cares which phone you have)

    I just used a copy of the program I got on cd when I bought the 12 buck usb cable for my phone from an amazon retailer so I can’t actually say if that works. They’re on version 4.12 now and that’s 3.5, but it’s supposed to autoupdate.

  5. Jesse Lee says:

    Satisfaction? From Rogers? HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHA! Good one.

  6. kfx says:

    Since Rogers owns Fido, really you only have two choices for wireless service – Telus or Rogers. I will explain the difference between the two with a couple of contorted similies.

    Rogers is like this chick named Brandie I used to date. She was a drunken tart whose personality was unbearable, but man, she was something wild in the sack. Rogers is brutal to talk to, but the service itself is pretty good.

    Telus, on the other hand, is like Rissa. She was a saccharine bundle of sweetness, but this was only a thin veneer over the fact that she was, actually, a very catty bint. Performance in bed was sub-par. Telus pretends to be friendly (cf: “The Future is Friendly”), but will ream you just as hard as Rogers and the service is actually worse than Rogers’.

  7. I haven’t really had many problems at all with Fido. Since they’ve been taken over by Rogers, the “local calling area” for City Fido has shrunk somewhat, and unless you are willing to pay extra every month you don’t get to use the “enhanced coverage” (read as: bullshit charge to use pre-existing Rogers cellphone towers in addition to the Fido ones that cover everything fine). So I’m still paying the original $45/mo that I was over two years ago.

    For retention after my original contract was up, they were willing to waive the $6.95/mo system access fee if I’d sign up for another two years. That’s generally better ($166.80) than any of the subsidies they offer on new phones, so I went for it.

    That said, the only reason I’m still probably with them is because I *haven’t* had any billing or other issues to deal with.

  8. The_Truth says:

    I hate cell phone shops. The sales guys always have a headset plugged in and randomly stop the conversation to take an incoming call on their cell…..


    You sell me a phone, you dont need to prove that the damn service works every few minutes whilst im in the store. Where else in retail lets their employees talk on the phone all day long?

    They really annoy me.

  9. SecureLocation says:

    Isn’t that Jack Nicholson in the photo?

  10. You know how they named Canada, yeah? They put all the letters of the alphabet in a hat…

    “C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?”

  11. North of 49 says:

    That’s my favorite joke about how the founding fathers got together to name the country. :)

    I just wish we could spend money on just one utility. We’re in a rental, so we need two for heat/electricity and two for cable/phone. I’d like one for heat/electricity and one for cable/phone, but being able to choose between several different “providers.”

    Don’t even get me started about Terasen. They are owned by an american company and they SUCK. 4 times they have screwed up our bill so far. 4 times they have blamed us! 4 times! If we didn’t need gas for our hot water, we would have just let it get cut off!

  12. Cathoo says:

    Oh, don’t forget Bell…which also sucks.

    Go with the pay and talk/pay as you go/prepaid plans. They can only screw you over for how much money you’ve given them, and you can stop paying them at any time if their service sucks. I pay $10 a month Canadian for phone service with free basic voicemail. I don’t know why more people don’t use them.

  13. danielnicolas says:

    It’s because there’s an “under the table” agreement that service providers will sell phones at a very high price.

    Why else is it that an unlocked phone on ebay is half the price you could get it for from any service provider?

  14. LittleFido says:

    It is interesting you keep calling it unlimited everything when nothing like that has ever been offered by fido. At one time with new contracts fido offered Unlimited Localcalls/SMS/MMS for 6 months so you do owe them the money for 411.

    Also Fido corp offices do not let people in off the street. Find a corp office that does deal with the public. And why the hell would a phone rep meet you at a store?

  15. Kangarara says:

    The thing that pisses me off most of all about Fido (aside from the fact that clearly they hire the dumbest stumps off the streets of Quebec to answer their phones) is that they address my bills to Mme. Kangarara

    Hey! Speak English!

  16. NiGHTSSTUDiO says:


    Canada is bilingual

  17. LavernaHornet says:

    Don’t get me started on the fiasco that is the saga of trying to get an iPhone from them…