Death by Golf?

I’ve always thought those Segway things were: a) ridden by douchebags, b) dangerous looking.

“No, no, no!” People told me, “It has a gyroscope! You can’t fall!”

Well, not forward anyway, but according to the CPSC you can be ejected off the back of the thing causing injuries to the “head and wrist.” Fantastic.

They’re issuing a recall of 23,000 Segways, (There are 23,000 of these stupid things out there?) including the Segway Golf Transporter, pictured here.

I’d like to protest the recall and repair of this particular model, because Segway Inc. might have inadvertently made golf interesting by increasing the threat of head injury. And, let’s face it, if there’s anything the world needs less of — it’s golfers.


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  1. Mike Tyson's movie career says:

    I can honestly say, and have others to hold me to it, that my fist post-Powerball-win purchase will be a Segway. Then I will ride it into work to quit. Hopefully, mine won’t give out at that pivotal moment.

  2. denki says:

    I fucking hate the segway. Remember back before its release, when the media was going crazy about the supposed “It” product? “It” will revolutionize your life! Everyone will have “It”! “It” will bring the world into a new era of prosperity! It’s a fucking replacement for wheelchairs, but only for people who can still stand up, and, y’know, walk. Revolutionary, huh? How many years has it been out now? Only 23,000 of them? Sounds like a freak of a revolution. I say go to hell, Segway. You’re shit. Too bad this didn’t come sooner and give babies, I dunno, the dumb, so that the company could die faster.

  3. amazon says:

    I thought it was all Segways, not just one particular model.

  4. aka Cat says:

    Riding a Segway is like standing in line at high speed. It’s fun for about fifteen minutes, and then your feet start to kill you.

  5. you can fall in pretty much any damn direction when you ride one in a storm, up an escalator, and through a doorway with rain-slicked half inch framing along the bottom.

    so yeah, people who ride segways are douchebags.

  6. North of 49 says:

    I’d get one, only because I’m eventually wheelchair bound because of repetitive injuries to my hips and am too stubborn to use a wheelchair.

    But even then, I’ll wait till they come down in price.