Silver Lining In JuiceyJuice Patdowns And Airport Delays

• To attract customers, Airline attendants perform inflight cabaret. Tastefully, mind you. The shoulder pads stay on.
• Pushes industry farther along the path to see-through smocks being the only acceptable form of carryon.
• Likewise, Spurs development of the clear plastic Louis Vuitton luggage set.
• Ticket prices drop. Who are we kidding! They’ll rise to offset the profit loss!
• But that’s a good thing because with the ban on onboard personal care products and cleansers, “The Great Unwashed” becomes a metaphor made flesh.