NYT reports Walmart wants to close its German stores, after years of failing to crack the Teutonic market.

Her tagline, “wie kann ich ihnen helfen” babelfishes into “as I can help them.” Her tears tell us otherwise.

The big box retailer had tried to soften the clash between local custom and American style, but was too late.

“In Germany, Wal-Mart stopped requiring sales clerks to smile at customers — a practice that some male shoppers interpreted as flirting — and scrapped the morning Wal-Mart chant by staff members.”

They were just too dern friendly, dagnabbit. Cult-like, too.

“They didn’t understand that in Germany, companies and unions are closely connected,” Mr. Poschmann said. “Bentonville didn’t want to have anything to do with unions. They thought we were communists.”

When will the healing begin? If you want to have an inkling of worker rights, you’re a communist. If you put too many workers in the oven, you’re a Nazi.

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