The Second Greatest Thing We’ve Ever Posted: Crazy Cat Lady Telemarketing Call

Okay, we hate telemarketers plenty. But this woman might be taking the entire thing too far.

Download MP3 here.

A description really won’t do this call justice. So just listen as, over eight minutes, an insane cat lady calls a telemarketer a terrorist, a rapist, an Iraqi insurgent, a murderer, a serial killer, a criminal, a sexual abuser, a hater, hurter and life deserter. And that’s just twenty seconds of the phone call. She also claims to have had an appendix rupture due to telemarketing calls and that she can produce an incriminating list of hundreds of people who have been murdered by telemarketers. That’s another ten seconds.

And it goes on and on and on, interrupted only occasionally by Alex’s calm, hilarious responses and a sound from the woman’s throat sounding very much like the regurgitation of her entire esophagus.

Through it all, Alex is unflappable. Scummy profession aside, he’s our new hero: smooth as silk, sarcastic yet polite. We love his understated response to being accused of being a serial rapist: “Wow! That’s a pretty harsh accusation!” The woman uses this as a segue to tell him about a friend who was gang raped by telemarketers; Alex doesn’t even blink. What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold!

There’s a strange logic about the entire recording that becomes clear after the second or third listen. We recommend listening to it again and again. This is the second best thing we’ve ever posted. Thanks, Nick!

Crazy Telemarketer Call [YTMND]