Millions of beleaguered Vets can breathe a wheezy sigh of relief that the stolen laptop that housed their social security numbers has been recovered. But hey, exactly how was it recovered? And how come everyone’s just so gosh darn confident that the data wasn’t accessed?

Well, apparently, the laptop was recovered after some guy bought it off the back of a van, about four miles away from the break-in at a subway station outside of Washington D.C. After he happily purchased what he no doubt knew was a piece of stolen equipment, he saw some flyers at a supermarket, advertising the return of the laptop for a $50,00 reward. His pupils morphed into dollar symbols; his jaw sprung forward with the ringing of teeth like the drawer of a cash register. Hey! 50 grand would buy a ton of stolen Laptops. Maybe even a Macbook Pro!

Of course, how do we know it wasn’t accessed? We’ve basically just got the FBI’s word of it. Granted, that’s pretty good word, but there’s numerous ways to read or copy data off a hard drive without leaving a trace. As much as we count on the incompetence of our politicians to expose us, ultimately, we have to trust in the incompetence of criminals to keep us safe.

VA Laptop Sold From Back Of A Truck
Previously: Stolen VA Laptop Stories

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