At a certain time, having a cell phone in and of itself was a bold proclamation of wealth and status. Then more trashy people started getting them. “Oh, I’m just standing in line at the bank, talking on my cel-LEE!” some flabby whore would shriek to an invisible stranger on the other end as you stood behind her in line at the very same bank. In a world where cell phone technology is as ubiquitous as the existence of human bovine trailer trash, how is the savvy and opulent consumer supposed to proclaim their status?