AOL Wants to Sell “Internet” to the Dead

Can we say… zombies? We promise we’re not going to turn this into the AOL horror story blog, but we gotta post this.

This is low. Very, very low. AOL doesn’t even care if your mom is a corpse. They still want to proposition her for access to the magical walled garden world of America Online. Perhaps she was just unhappy with the service? Perhaps we can just reduce the hours to make it softer on the ol’ wallet?

No. She’s dead. Mom is dead. They don’t do AOL in heaven. Up there, they have free wireless broadband.

By the by, National Geographic’s caption for the photo above reads, “Body louse taking a blood meal from a person.”

Read Brenda’s horrifying letter, after the jump…

Brenda writes:

“Hi! I’m writing after hearing the phone conversation between Vincent and AOL. I was curious about this because I had a similar conversation with AOL back in February.

My mom had AOL, but on February 21st, she was killed in a car accident. On February 23rd, I called AOL to cancel her service. I wish I could have recorded the conversation for you. It was unbelievable. After explaining that my mother was killed in the accident, the rep told me that he was sorry that my mom was unhappy with the service. He then suggested lowering the number of hours per month to reduce the bill. I said “she was killed.” The rep then said, “I understand what you are saying, I’m just trying to come up with a solution.” He actually got snippy with me. AOL finally told me that my mom would have to call and cancel the service herself (even after I provided the coroner’s ID number for the incident, etc.). I told them that if they could reach her that they should let me know how they did it. I told them that in the meanwhile, all credit cards, etc. were being canceled as a result of her death.

I had to go back to my mom’s in April (I live in Ohio and she lived in CA). I checked the connection and sure enough – AOL hadn’t canceled. I bet if I tried to connect again from her house it will still be connected.”