Pizza Delivery Superhero Thwarts Purse Snatching

Pizza Delivery just got its own caped crusader. An orange spandex leotard painted across his doughy frame, additionally dressed in ivory tights and tunic, Cameron Evans of Galactic Pizza keeps the streets of Minneapolis safe from the superstitious and cowardly lot that prey upon the fine, upstanding pizza consumers of uptown.

Teresa Skarman was just an average Jane, wrapping up her shift bagging groceries, when a masked thug swiped her purse and ran. Luckily for her, Uptown’s greatest pizza delivering superhero was nearby. Before a shrill scream of “Purse snatcher!” could even oscillate from her mouth, Super Cameron was a tawny streak of orange lightning in pursuit.

Unfortunately, life isn’t really a comic book, and it took two other bystanders to take down the purse snatching perp. If Cameron had been Thor, mighty Mjolnir might have rocketed down deliciously upon one of the criminal’s temples. If Cameron had been Captain America, he might have hurled the pizza he was delivering like a frisbee at the knees of the fleeing crook. Still, we love Cameron for providing one of those brief flashes of surreality that makes life so worth living.

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‘Caped Crusader’ Foils Uptown Robbert []


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  1. ModerateSnark says:

    I wish I had something to add, since this happened within 7 miles of me.

    Minnesota, home of former Governor Jesse “The Body” Ventura and The Artist Currently Known as Prince. We like spandex.

  2. Kishi says:

    The simple fact that someone delivers pizza dressed as a superhero makes my world a better place.