And Hold the Hashbrowns!

In Cynthia’s letter we find that sometimes, a “Small Breakfast,” can be a big deal.

Have to say I share your take on Morgan Spurlock, but after this morning’s breakfast misadventure at my local McDonalds, I might change my mind. Maybe there IS a conspiracy to hook us all on high-fat foods…

We like her letter because its fun and amusing and in the end, the hash browns win, though, not without a fierce fight.

How far will you go to protect your rationalized, high-calorie breakfast decision?

    “For years, I’ve balanced guilt over fat and cholesterol against raging mid-morning hunger by settling for what MickeyDees used to call a “Small Breakfast”. It’s the Big Breakfast–biscuit, eggs, sausage and hash browns–without the hash browns. Total cost was only about $.80 cents cheaper than the Big Babaloo, but I could persuade myself that I was merely committing strategic assault on my coronary arteries, not launching mass destruction. (Self-deception, God love it, is a powerful friend.)

    For a long, long time, ordering my Small Breakfast was a no-brainer. There was a key labeled “Small Breakfast” right there on the keypad, and even if the kid in the trainee hat couldn’t find it, I could usually peep over the top and point to the right place. Trainee Hat pushes the key, I pay my $3.25, all’s right with the world.

    Trouble entered paradise a few months ago. I got a blank eye-blink when I chirped, “Small Breakfast, please!” McD’s had removed the key! A manager was called, I explained that “It’s the Big Breakfast but without the hash browns …” and Trainee Hat was instructed in an esoteric keystroke sequence that would give me my Small Breakfast at the old price point.

    So, my spiel got longer. Instead of a smart “Small Breakfast, please!”, I had to drone out something like, “Okay, what I want is what you used to call a Small Breakfast, and it’s a Big Breakfast without the hash browns ….” and two times out of three, a manager had to be called over, but I got my Small Breakfast at the right discount.

    Not anymore.

    This morning, I stepped up to the counter to start the process, made it through to the “call a manager” stage, only to have the manager tell me, in these words, “We can only sell you the Small Breakfast if you buy the Big Breakfast”.

    In other words, to get a Small Breakfast, I have to buy a Big Breakfast, and pay for a Big Breakfast, but they keep the hash brown, which makes it a Small Breakfast.

    I boggle. “But I’ve been buying this for years!”

    “Not anymore. You have to buy the Big Breakfast”, says the manager.

    So I buy the Big Breakfast. That’s what my receipt shows: the Big Breakfast at the Big Price. They keep the hash brown, and by my lights, about $.80 of my money.

    Next time, I’ll just buy the damned Big Breakfast, walk to the trash, and toss the hash brown. At least they’ll be out something for my money.

    Better than than let the Clown win …