“Messieurs and Mistresses Consumerati:

I am moving, and to continue that process, I today called Verizon to get the ball rolling. I was expecting a stupid journey through incomprehensible, powerless reps and VRU’s, exorbitant fees and a general hassle. I was pleasantly surprised when I was (eventually) connected to Mike, so I decided to pop off a letter to his supervisor, to wit:…”

Brant’s letter, after the jump…

From: Brant xxxx
Date: May 1, 2006 15:46:23 EDT
To: xxxxx@verizonmail.com
Subject: Customer Service call on 1 May 2006.

To Whom It May Concern:

On the first of May, I called Verizon to get some assistance in an upcoming move. I spent nearly 15 minutes traveling through what are possibly the worst, most confounding and irritating VRU’s I’ve ever had the displeasure of using. After calls to 3 or 4 different numbers, I was crankily transferred to Mike xxxx phone, and found light at the end of the annoying menu tunnel. Mike was courteous, patient and knowledgeable, and was able to offer me options on my move and tell me exactly what was going to happen and when.

In an era of outsourced, hard to understand call reps who have little knowledge of the products they service, my conversation with Mike was a winner. He helped me with what I needed, gave me prices for possible upgrades which included all the rinky-dink fees, and skipped over the stuff I told him I knew I didn’t need or want. While his call time may have been high it was not his fault, but mine. For Mike had the worst of all customers: the chatty annoying customer who simultaneously knew exactly what he wanted and had no clue whatsoever. In the face of this daunting customer idiocy that I’m sure he faces hundreds of times a day, Mike stood strong, answering my stupid and non-sequitorial (see, I’m so annoying I even make up words) questions with barely hidden glee at providing quality customer service.

All kidding aside, Mike was really great and if all of your Pittsburgh area call reps were like him I’d forgive you for taking James Earl Jones (the most valuable property picked up in the NYNEX acquisition) from your VRU.

Yours,

Brant
Account # xxxxxxxx

PS:
Seriously, your VRU’s really stink. And that PICC freeze guy couldn’t recognize my voice.

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