Starbucks Alienates Doofus Teen

Ah, the casual stupidity of power-tripping barristas and idiot teens. From Mike’s Blog:

    Today I went into a Starbucks with some friends, one of us purchased a coffee and sat down. A minute later a very large Starbucks employee walks over and says “I’m sorry but you have to purchase something if you wish to sit on the chairs”…Erm , what the hell is that about? We replied saying we had indeed purchased something, we had bought a coffee, and pointed at it showing the employee. “I’m sorry” she replied “but all of you have to purchase something”…What is this? Shall i sit on the fucking floor?! Is this what you wish me to do?! I’m not great on customers rights but you provide a fucking chair, I’m allowed to park my fucking arse on it!

Given Mike’s penchant for wild obscenity spouting, not to mention his chemically-castratable habit of following question marks with exclamation points, Starbucks might not be entirely concerned about losing his custom. But was Starbucks right to kick him out? Let your cranium bulge. Use your Sherlockian powers of deduction. Mike spells his name on his blog as “M

.” His blog is formatted in Comic Sans. And the entire story sounds like the misadventures of a gaggle of pimply slackers trying to scam some place to hang out, someplace to talk about their erections for a few hours… with the minimum monetary investment possible.

So we’re with Starbucks. We would have slammed “M

‘s” head in the door on the way out. Damn kids! Keep these punks in HoJo’s where they belong!

I declare war on Starbucks [M

‘s Blog]