This is pathetic. Time Warner Cable, you are a corpulent prude whore, an easy slut who won’t put out.

When we had to get TimeWarner service in our new apartment, on the third floor, we were told there was no apartment number 3. After much wrangling, we said, okay, we’re in apartment number two. Conversely, when we signed up for gas, we were told there was already service in apartment two, so we had to then be apartment 3.

Benjamin sends in his chronologically ordered tale of his over month-long attempt to get Time Warner Cable to install service.

That he had to prove, in writing, that his apartment actually existed was only the fun’s beginning…

Benjamin writes:

Haven’t checked the records for March, hence the lack of dates. This is in Brooklyn, NY.

3/xx Called TWC to change the address for my service and was told that my apartment did not exist.

3/xx Provided a signed copy of my lease, verifying existence of apartment. TWC asks for further verification.

3/xx Obtained and mailed a NOTARIZED LETTER from the owner of the property verifying existence of apartment in a TWC-serviced area.

3/xx Called TWC again, who told me they did not receive or had lost the letter. Was told to contact the Real Estate Department, and was given a number.

Number given turns out to be a FAX line. On follow-up, a TWC representative claims that TWC does not have a “Real Estate Department.”

Through further calls, I am given the personal cellphone number of one “Jimmy,” who is supposed to be able to tell me what needs to be done to hook up service.

3/xx “Jimmy” surveys property and determines that a line needs to be run from a property down the block. Also verifies property

s existence to dogmatically skeptical Customer Service Representatives.

3/xx On follow-up, TWC claims apartment is installation ready and an appointment is made.

4/13 Installation technician arrives, and tells me a line needs to be run from the property down the block. Technician explains that we will receive a call from the foreman of the Construction Department, who will set up an appointment.

Received call from Construction Department, and set up appointment for 4/17.

4/17 Received approximately 0 visits from Construction Department foremen. A follow-up call reveals that the foreman did not actually need apartment access (read: I wasted a vacation day), and that the appropriate
work has been performed.

New appointment is made for a 4/18 installation.

4/18 Installation tech arrives and informs us that no work has been performed and a line still needs to be run from a property down the block.

TWC representatives explain to us that the foreman dispatched on 4/17 was merely to verify that A LINE NEEDS TO BE RUN FROM A PROPERTY DOWN THE BLOCK.

4/19 After numerous calls to TWC over the course of 12 hours, I am told that TWC does not know the identity of the foreman who came on Monday and will therefore have to arrange another appointment (set for 4/22) for a foreman to come and verify that A LINE NEEDS TO BE RUN FROM A PROPERTY DOWN THE BLOCK.

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