This Week in: Top Stories

What we popped like it was hot, based on highest traffic numbaz, yizall.

Supersize Me Star Apologizes, Resolves to Eat Nothing But Own Words for 30 Days. Morgan Spurloch made some offensive comments to a high school audience. Then he apologized and says they weren’t so bad. Then he cried because America turned his comedic flank.

Walmart Refuses to Sell ‘Sinful’ Purple Ribbon, Man Claims. Tie a purple ribbon around the old oak tree, the other end to Sam Walton’s gallbladder and pull-a-pull-a-pull.

Free Crap Roundup. Spell it like it sounds.

Who Will Monitor the Dell Monitors? The lizard isn’t the monitor but the maker.

Stupid Moments In Billing History. It’s like Sudoko for your cable bill.

[photo. NSFW. Those are diamonds, btw.]