More Discrimination Victims

Online dating site does not want Tamsem (pictured) as a member. Based on its extensive personality profile, eHarmony found her unsuitable for any of its tens of thousands of members.

It’s not that she’s legally separated from a spouse, like that guy in California who’s suing eHarmony, nor is it her shiny red locks nor that she’s a part time model.

She wondered, was she simply unattractive? Unlovable? Does eHarmony hate Canadians?

Nope, it’s something far worse…


    I just wanted to add to your story regarding John Claasen’s claim against eHarmony.

    I, too, have been discriminated against by eHarmony though for a different reason.

    I don’t believe there’s anything really wrong with me. I think I’m a fairly well-adjusted, healthy, edumacated, fun, hopefully interesting writer and part time model here in Toronto and yet, based on my personality profile, I was completely rejected by eHarmony. They said something to the effect that I was not suitable for any of their (1000’s and 1000’s) of members.

    Let me tell you, that was a blow that I did not need after having a seriously tricky time out in the dating world. In my pea brained head, that basically said to me that not one of the men on their vast member list would like me – it was pretty disheartening and has really put a dent in my dating confidence.

    I was down for a week or so, pondering my basic attractiveness to men in general when it dawned on me that it might be a discrimination thang. By that I mean, I am an atheist (or agnostic, when the mood strikes me) and I did not hide that fact when I went through their ‘personality test’ (that I obviously failed – I should have studied harder??). However, I did not say that I would only date like-minded men, I clearly checked off the boxes on Catholics, Presbyterians, Anglicans, and demon-worshippers as men that I would be more than happy to take home to mum and dad. My suspicion was confirmed when I asked a Christian friend if she knew anything about eHarmony and, if so, did she know if it was a religious site. she said that it was and that I should take my heathen ways to another site… ok, the last part isn’t true, but she did say that it was a religious site.

    So, I was feeling better that I was being simply discriminated based on my lack of religion and not that I was a horrid person who was completely unlovable. Hey, wait a minute, I hear that Americans are pretty big on people not being able to discriminate against others based on their religion (or lack thereof). Hmmm, now it sounds like I have the same claim as John Claasen “discrimination at the hands of eHarmony”.

    I don’t think that I’m desperate, just disappointed (especially by the fact that I didn’t print out their assessment of my personality and their resounding rejection).


We suggest that Tamsen email eHarmony and ask why they rejected her profile. Who knows, maybe it was a technical glitch and with a few swift keystrokes, she can be back in the club. Or maybe she’s right, a site founded by a devout Christian, espousing certain Christian values, really doesn’t like redheads.

Previously: Married Man Sues For a Date


Edit Your Comment

  1. CatMoran says:

    Like Tamsen, I fessed up to eHarmony that I was non-Christian, but checked off the boxes saying that I would date a man of any religion.

    And I was turned down.

    However, I was coloring my hair red at the time. (Lucky me, I have all of the tanning-is-not-an-option coloring of a redhead *except* for my hair.)

    I guess they really don’t like redheads.

  2. airship says:

    I would like to state here publicly that, though I myself am a Christian, I would be more than happy to date any and all attractive, intelligent, funloving, and (hopefully) lustful, heathen redheaded women who have been rejected by eHarmony. For comfort, reaffirmation, and snuggles, just follow the link via my handle below.

  3. Paul D says:

    eHarmony’s loss. She’s hot.

  4. christy says:

    But more importantly, do they sell purple ribbon?

  5. Erzengel says:

    I have prurple ribbon, and in my religion everybody is wellcome, specially hot redheads. eHarmony´s mistake, i wont do the same, i promess.

  6. Danilo says:

    eHarmony is retarded — how is rejecting such a gorgeous woman conducive to the success of their business? It’s the basic rule nightclubs understand: collect beauty in a single, confined space and men will come flocking, wallets flapping open.

    (Disclaimer: I’m not a religious guy but I respect the faiths of others) More than the simple business end of it, the proprietors of eHarmony are failing in their duties and obligations as Christians. What better way to spread the word of their God and faith than to ensure that those who have yet to discover these (purportedly) joyful rewards have an opportunity to meet and share lives with the faithful?

    Isn’t that one of the primary missions of Christianity? The introduction of the faith to others with the hope that they may be “saved?” Compassion for the lost and unititiated? Herein lies one of my greatest problems with organized religion. The teachings of the faith clearly indicate one course of action while the cliquishness, insecurities, hollow pursuits and personal prejudices inherent to group behavior end up promoting an opposite course of action.

    Tamsen has nothing to worry about, though — if she’s having trouble finding dates she’s living in a land of blindness and stupidity.

  7. etinterrapax says:

    What Danilo said. It seems to me that they would want to promote relationships in which both people have a chance to grow. So it’s counterproductive to their mission to reject people who haven’t made religious commitments, and it’s downright depressing that, logically speaking, they seem to fear that people with faith can be turned away from it by atheists, rather that promoting the idea that faith is powerful in a relationship. This is just making organized religion look like a club with closed membership. And poor business sense, at that.

  8. e says:

    eHarmony also doesn’t like the gays:

    So if you’re gay or separated or a non-Christian . . . eHarmony doesn’t want you, I guess.

  9. Grady says:

    Tamsen, You’re hot!

    You should screen potential dates to make sure they’re not members of the site!

    I think you should always strive to be the kind of person that, as Groucho Marx said, would never join any club that would have you as a member. Since, clearly, any club that would refuse you as a member must be out of their collective minds, I’m afraid you’re just out of luck. Maybe if you try harder to be uglier and more dogmatic, they’ll reverse their position.

    Better yet, maybe a whole bunch of godless communists can attempt to join, lying in the appropriate places, and take ’em down from within!

  10. scingram says:

    What a dumb site. If I was a guy on e-harmony and knew that it was rejecting applications from beautiful women like Tamsen, I would be pissed.

  11. mattbr says:

    Is this all part of the greater War On Marriage ?

    What people forget is to look at things as a whole – it all started with the renaming of St Valentine’s day into “Valentine’s day”. I mean, Valentine was martyred for refusing to give up his christianity, in an evil world of filthy lucre, on the day of the dreadful lottery where maidens were given up for the love of men.

    Thankfully, the church soon replaced such devious behavior to something more suited to Christian behavior : a saintly lottery, where one won the right to emulate the random saint one picked for a full year.

    Maybe eHarmony should go back to those glorious days of innocence, and in doing so help the rest of the world reach an even more evasive goal : ridding the world of bigots by helping them stay as religiously orthodoxical as possible.

  12. Stinkoman says:

    hahaha.. I’m sure really attractive model actually had one second of self-doubt after being turned down by eHarmony.

  13. AppTechie says:

    I with scingram…what a bunch of jerks to turn down such a wonderful looking…and apparently intelligent and well-adjusted…woman!

  14. mrscolex says:

    As long as E-harmony didn’t take your money and shoot you off then I don’t see what the problem is. E-harmony has no responsibility to pump up your ego. ;)

  15. RandomHookup says:

    Demon worshippers do make the best lovers.

  16. Look, folks, it’s all perfectly clear: If you are not a Christian, you are under the control of Satan, and a Christian may not marry you.

    My own point of view is that everybody who makes money out of religion is evil. This is, I think, backed by a lot more evidence than the idea that 67% of the world population is Satan’s bitch.

    (Of course, if you ask any given Christian whether all of the other 2.1 billion people who call themselves Christian really are, they’ll probably tell you that most of them aren’t. If we give all Christians veto rights over each others’ status, then it turns out that all of them are Satanic liars! Neat!)

  17. OkiMike says:

    Hello Tamsen!

    Well, those religious folk like to claim that “God moves in mysterious ways”. Who knows, maybe you were meant to get rejected there so you’d complain here and then meet me–an agnostic atheist all-around nice guy! Check out my site below! ;)

    Consumerist, just think, in addition to espousing pearls of shopping wisdom, you could possibly start promoting the fact that you “bring people together” (and without the hour-long survey)!

    Of course, that could just be wishful thinking…

  18. annabliss says:

    I am an attractive non-christian red headed woman who met an attractive non-christian man on E-harmony. We have been blissfully together for 11 months. Still the experience was vaguely creepy. I am still undecided if the thing really works or if we were two people who happened to blunder into the wrong place and just luckily meet up. Many of the men I was matched with were Bible Thumpers, but then again I am in the Bible Belt. Still we would consider doing one of those TV ads if they would give some money for our honeymoon.

  19. Leeza says:

    I believe this could be a misunderstanding. I am a member of several other singles sites. Scammers are known to use photos of models. So eharmony could be weeding those out without further inquiry. But on the other hand. If eharmony is a christian site, and the idea is to put like christians together, then they should advertise as such. As a christian, I am not interested in dating anyone outside my religion and welcome a site that is endeavoring to match up like people.