McSweeney’s Looks at the iPod Zepto

This is a tad old, but if you’re upset about not being able to find that coveted 4GB iPod Nano?? for Christmas, this prophetic look at the upcoming iPod Zepto (pictured: left) may put your consumerist fury in perspective.

From the fine lads over at McSweeney’s, who ought to be beaten into pulsating goo with a towel filled with oranges for denying visitors to their fine site an RSS feed:

Q: The iPod Zepto box was empty.

A: It’s not empty. Look closely at the period-sized dot in the middle of the box. Now, find the red rectangular square in the center of the dot. This is the outer packaging of your iPod Zepto. In a sterile, wind-free environment, carefully open the outer packaging and remove the clear-plastic inner wrapping. Finally, using the enclosed high-magnification lens, unwrap the plastic and look for a white case. Inside the white case is your iPod Zepto.

Q: My iPod Zepto stopped playing and now it keeps eating flakes of dead skin that have settled on my furniture.

A: That’s a dust mite. Unplug the headphones from wherever you’ve inserted them in the mite and try to locate your iPod Zepto.