IKEA Sends Mother And Infant To Bathroom To Breastfeed
The IKEA in Red Hook, Brooklyn is the latest retail establishment that needs reminding: Yes, women have the right to breastfeed their infants in public. No, you cannot banish them to the restroom. Yes, people will get angry when word gets out.
She posted to a local listserv:
On Wednesday I was in IKEA Red Hook in the middle of breastfeeding, fully covered, when I was told I had to stop doing "that" and go to the nearby family bathroom. The IKEA employee and security guards were extremely rude to us. I was hustled off to the bathroom and then had to wait because someone else was using it. I was humiliated, my daughter was upset from being interrupted in the middle of her feed. When eventually I gave up and headed for the car to finish feeding, the security guards who had seen the entire event insisted on checking my receipts. I'm putting together a formal complaint to IKEA. I was wondering if this has happened to anyone else?
Sent to the bathroom to breastfeed AND had her receipts checked! It's a double Consumerist indignity!
If you're out in public and need to feed your wee consumer, know your rights. Here's a guide to laws that apply to public breastfeeding in different states.
Breastfeeding Woman Banished to IKEA Bathroom [Gothamist]
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Comments:
I dunno, the law in New York is: "§ 79-e. Right to breast feed. Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breast feed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether or not the nipple of the mother's breast is covered during or incidental to the breast feeding."
Being that it's private property, Ikea could just say that the mother is no longer authorized to be there, right? This tested in court? I'm not from New York, so this isn't an issue where I live.
Wowee, breastfeeding and receipt-checking in one article? Are you trying to start a riot, Laura???
Let me get these comments out of the way:
1: I don't want to see any nasty mother's tit swinging out in the breeze while she feeds her little brat!!!
2: People are morons, just show your receipts!!!
/sarcasm
When I was the manager of a public pool, I occasionally received complaints about mothers breastfeeding in view of the patrons. I remember apologetically asking one mother if she minded relocating, but I was not rude nor did I request that she did so. I simply explained that a patron had complained, but she was under no obligation to relocate.
Eventually, I stopped bothering to appease uptight patrons by even asking the mother if she minded relocating, especially if the mother was taking precautions to keep her breasts from being exposed. Perhaps that's because I (a) secretly didn't have a problem with it or (b) grew a pair.
Point is, there is anything right way and a wrong way to ask someone to breastfeed in a less public place (if you must ask). It sounds like these IKEA employees chose the latter.
@balthisar: The key word there is OTHERWISE. They have to prove that she was not authorized to be there before -- or regardless of -- whipping out the boob. They can make up some excuse, but it likely won't stand up in court.
I also have never had my receipt checked at ikea, and I've shopped there for 12 years. I call BS on that part of the story. That said, with the wave of moms who breastfeed in public, I think a lot of them do not realize how much of their boob they are showing. They want to see their baby's face when feeding, and so some breast winds up showing. I've seen so many breasts, even with the cloth covering. I don't say anything, but It is definitely more noticeable than the moms think.
@azsumrg1rl: Indeed. And it's one thing to say, "Hey, go sit in this nasty bathroom because someone is an obnoxious little prude," and something quite different to say, "Ma'am, I have a much more comfortable place for you to breastfeed. Would you like to use it?"
In MN, it is legal for a mother to nurse her child anywhere public or private. I found this out after the YWCA asked me to nurse (after my 8 month old's swimming lesson was over) in the locker room. I declined their kind offer and continued on poolside, covered.
@katstermonster: Regardless of what you do, or do not want to see, a mother has the right to feed their child in public.
If it bothers you that much, walk away.
I would have thought a Swedish company would have a dedicated nursing room (apart from the bathrooms) in their store.
Screaming lawsuit ahoy...
@azsumrg1rl: Complaining about it at a public pool of all places? I can't even count the number of naked people I saw in changerooms over the years at pools. And... breastfeeding was offensive? Do those fine folks never remove their swimwear?
@AreYouConfusedYet?HowAboutNow?: please, really, find a nice quiet location when breastfeeding. It truly upsets the rest of us... everywhere. I understand you have the right to do it, however, have a little respect for the rest of us and a: use a blanket and b: do it where the rest of us cant obviously see you. Btw, You're not that woman who was breastfeeding at that restaurant I was eating at in NYC last night, boob and nipple all hanging out, going ouch , oooch, that hurts, don't bite on my nipple....while I'm trying to eat my dinner too, were you? Respect yourself and others please. (mother of four)
If she had just shown the receipt checker her breasts, there wouldn't have been any problem. :)
This falls under "Just because you can doesn't mean you should" Who wants to see that? EEEwww.
Sorry being a mother is such an inconvenience that your Ikea trip gets interrupted for 10 minutes by stepping into the restroom! Good luck with the next 17 years....
"/sarcasm" is a form of humor that uses sharp, cutting remarks or language intended to mock, wound, or subject to contempt or ridicule.
There ya go
You would think a Swedish company would be very lax about what constitutes indecent exposure in regards to potential nudity...
@jmsbmck:
Sure!
And seeing people eating in public offends me.
Please repair to the nearest restroom stall to eat.
Thanks!
@jmsbmck:
That's my sentiment as well. I can curse loudly all day long in public and generally act like an asshole short of disorderly conduct, but I don't because I know it's likely to offend others.
And really, I highly doubt it was the receipt checker's idea to ask the woman to step into a bathroom. When I worked in retail I went out of my way to avoid confrontation with customer. Either another customer complained or it was too blatant to not say something.
Maybe I'm insane, but isn't there something inherently wrong about having to do anything involving food in a public restroom? If anyone has a problem with a mother feeding her child in any area, I would like to offer a simple suggestion that's worked for me (for many, many years) whenever I see something I'd rather not: Don't look.
I'm not a woman, but I wouldn't be cool with anyone telling me not to feed my child after having to deal with childbirth.
@jmsbmck: Breastfeeding inside a restroom? Hmmm... should she go inside a stall and sit on a nasty toilet seat while breastfeeding? Now, that gets my "EEwww." Disgusting, no thanks.
She has a right to breastfeed wherever she wants and if you are so "offended", you have the right to look away. Walk away, even. IKEA is a big store.
@Hate_Brian_Club_I'mNotOnlyThePresidentI'mAClient: Right, but you aren't taking care of another human being who requires that you curse loudly all day long in order for him/her to develop.
@jmsbmck: Excuse me? Just because you have some uptight problem with a baby eating doesn't mean you, or anyone, has the right to demand that a mother be hussled away into a bathroom. Jesus Christ, it's a BOOB. If I have a problem with your face, I can't demand that you relocate somewhere I can't see you.
people who have never breastfed should not comment, period. i.g.n.o.r.a.n.t
I'm a little bit skeptical of this story. Knowing this particular IKEA and the environs extremely well, I find it hard to believe that they would have asked a mom to breastfeed in the bathroom. Indeed, I find it hard to imagine that IKEA wouldn't have expressly prepped its underlings to avoid such confrontations, knowing that much of their clientele are the Park Slope and surrounding mommies who are...well, I'll stop myself before I offend anyone, but let's say that I think they would have known better than to try something like this.
I am most surprised that this happened at IKEA. The company is from Sweden, and from what I read they are super family centric and have all sorts of laws that promote child care. I think this women will be hearing many apologies from corporate and will possibly receive a prefabricated portable lactation hut. On a personal note what is the big deal about nursing in public, grow up. When I see a women nursing I don't get all Sally about it, I say now there is an intelligent consumer
@jmsbmck:
No. It falls under you have a right to feed your baby, and that right should be protected. This is not a country built on "whatever jmsbmck thinks you should be allowed to do."
@OnefinFinn: Another reason I'm skeptical of this story. IKEA has been listed as one of the 100 Best Companies for Working Mothers for the past four years.
@jmsbmck: I breastfed both of my babies for 18 months, and yet I'm still a little uncomfortable with a teet being pulled out and waved around in public. That said, this woman said she was "fully covered." Most of us nursing mothers were and are very respectful of public hangups (and about preserving our own modesty) and we drape with a light blanket so that no one can actually see anything, and the only ones who can complain are those closet perverts that are grossed out by the mere mental image of what's going on under the blanket!
I think they were really just mad that, when she needed to breastfeed, she didn't first purchase the $20 Ikea Breastfeeding Bench. That's probably what the whole receipt issue was about.
@katstermonster: They told her to go to the restroom, "hustled off to it" sounds like escorted to me.
They didn't tell her to LEAVE - so she was authorized to be there.
@zegota: Wow. Have some anger issues there?
Just saying - it's her choice to get offended and make an issue out of it with Ikea and the Interwebz. This isn't an unfair mega-corp with unjust policies.
The vast majority of those around her would probably prefer she keep her clothes on. Her car, the restroom, a quiet place off in the corner are all options instead of dragging the poor kid through the store while stuck up her mom's shirt!
"people who have never breastfed should not comment, period. i.g.n.o.r.a.n.t"
Why?
That's like saying if you're not a retail salesperson, you shouldn't comment on how the retail salesperson acted. If you're not a meat supplier, you shouldn't comment on food safety issues. If you're not a economist, you shouldn't gripe about the economy.
Now, as far as breastfeeding in public... if, when you go to work at night, one of the supplications to the deity of your choice is, "Please don't let me see someone breastfeeding at [work/store/beach/park]" quit while you're ahead. Life is good.
Who cares? If it bothers you that much, as someone else said... don't look. In fact, it's kinda rude to stare anyway.
You can breastfeed in public but then you lose the right to get mad when I peek.
@Becca Cooper: That is an idiotic statement. Have you murdered, well then don't comment. Have you walked on the moon, well then don't comment.
@zegota: Some people inexplicable have issues with me dropping trou and going to the bathroom in public too. Hey, it's natural and only a penis... Frankly, there's no difference between a body taking in nourishment and letting out waste; I have no idea why one can't legally do both in public view.
Anyway, I really don't care one way or another if people breastfeed in public. I just never understood why people get so defensive over it...
@CarlIguana: I would have thought a Swedish company would have government-hired wet-nurses in the store to suckle your children while you shopped.
Ah, public breastfeeding. Let the righteous drama commence.
@TCama:
Good point, TCama. Maybe I should "bottle up" my need to curse loudly at home and then I won't have to do it in public. Why if I could figure out a way to make this possible with breast milk I'd be a millionaire many times over! To the lab!
@Becca Cooper: If you're going to hold that opinion, I certainly hope we never see you commenting on any story here where you lack personal, immediate experience on the matter.
i think the bathroom is where it belongs.
@Becca Cooper: Agreed. However, by the same logic, people who have never been offended by breastfeeding should not comment either (or people who have never worked retail, etc.), so feel free to shut up. s.t.u.p.i.d
@balthisar: My guess is that it was a private business open to the public at large, therefore authorizing her to be there. Since ikea advertises, her being there was essentially by invitation.
@syr2012: Many public women's restrooms offer seating areas outside of the toilet area that can be used by nursing women (or anyone; I took advantage of one the other day to rest my feet). It isn't like they have to sit under a toilet and wipe the floor with both breasts before hooking up the baby.
@supercereal: "Frankly, there's no difference between a body taking in nourishment and letting out waste."
You're right! There is no difference whatsoever. That's why, the other day, when I was sitting on the toilet taking a shit, I actually thought I was EATING BREAKFAST!! LOL
there is no such thing as the right to breast-feed in public. Especially if its private property. The owners o te property set the rules. This is the way to deal with this, show the public and if they agree then they will demand an answer from the retailers and vote with their dollars as they see fit. No one has the right to tell me or you what you can do on your OWN property. Its yours(mine) bought and paid for by our sweat and hard work.
I've honestly never heard of an IKEA receipt checker, but this just sounds like an employee got a complaint from someone nearby.