Humanetics announced this week that it will begin making an obese crash test dummy.

New Crash Test Dummies Will Gain A Few Pounds To Better Reflect Fatalities Of Obese Drivers

We’ve all seen the crash test dummies used in tests to determine if vehicles are safes before hitting the streets. Remember that picture, because the dummies are getting a makeover to better represent Americans’ growing waistlines. [More]

NY Pols Want Free Broadband For Public Housing, WiFi For Parks If Comcast Deal Approved

NY Pols Want Free Broadband For Public Housing, WiFi For Parks If Comcast Deal Approved

Usually by this point in the review process of a mega-merger like the one pending between Comcast and Time Warner Cable, there are discussions about things the parties are willing to do or give up in order to make the deal more palatable to critics. But because Comcast and TWC proactively offered to spin off some 3 million customers, and because Comcast already made a bunch of promises and concessions when it acquired NBC back in 2010, there hasn’t been much chatter. But some folks in New York are making known their demands for signing off on the deal. [More]

(Colin)

Petition Demands Big Banks Give Consumers Back Our Right To Sue

Since 2011, when the U.S. Supreme Court affirmed that it was perfectly okay for companies to take away a consumer’s right to sue — and their ability to join other wronged consumers in a class action — by inserting a paragraph or two of text deep in lengthy, unchangeable contracts, the rush has been on for almost every major retailer, wireless provider, cable company, and financial institution to slap these mandatory binding arbitration clauses into their customer agreements. Now one petition is gathering signatures, calling on the nation’s largest banks to put an end to the practice. [More]

Florida Man Stuffs Chainsaw Up Shirt, Tries To Bicycle Away

Florida Man Stuffs Chainsaw Up Shirt, Tries To Bicycle Away

A few years ago, we shared the story of a bold shoplifter who thought that nobody would notice if he stuffed a chainsaw down his pants and tried to make a break for it. Someone will notice, as it turns out. In Florida, police say that a man tried to commit a similar crime this week, only with the chainsaw stuffed in his shirt. He did not succeed. [More]

28,980 Pounds Of Chicken Kiev Recalled For Connection With Salmonella Illness

28,980 Pounds Of Chicken Kiev Recalled For Connection With Salmonella Illness

Sometimes you want Chicken Kiev but don’t feel like pounding out the chicken breasts, stuffing them with butter and herbs, and then cooking them. But if you’ve got some Antioch Farms Chicken Kiev sitting in your freezer, check the label because 29,000 pounds of the pre-stuffed chicken have been recalled for possible Salmonella contamination. [More]

UPS Driver Kicks Fragile Package, Is Caught On Camera

UPS Driver Kicks Fragile Package, Is Caught On Camera

We at Consumerist have wondered for years now why courier service drivers haven’t yet figured out that business and residential customers alike have security cameras. Like the office on Long Island that caught a UPS driver kicking and shoving a delicate box back to the truck when they had to refuse the delivery. [More]

(Mrs. Gemstone)

Disney’s Search Engine Patent Lumps Movie Piracy In With Child Porn

The folks at Disney have patented a search engine that ranks and filters out results based on “authenticity” metrics, allowing it to exclude “undesirable” results, which it describes only as “results referencing piracy websites, child pornography websites, and/or the like,” lumping in people trying to watch Finding Nemo for free with dangerous sexual predators. [More]

(Ian)

Ferrari To Pay $3.5M Penalty For Failure To Submit Fatality Reports To NHTSA For Three Years

As we’ve reported previously, car manufacturers are required to report death and injury claims to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration so that the agency can identify potentially fatal and dangerous defects. Failing to submit those reports not only endangers drivers, it can cost a pretty penny for auto makers. Just ask Ferrari, the high-end carmaker must pay a $3.5 million penalty for its inaction. [More]

Review Of Dunkin’ Donuts Not-A-Cronut: It’s The Lookalike Pet Parents Buy When Real One Dies

Review Of Dunkin’ Donuts Not-A-Cronut: It’s The Lookalike Pet Parents Buy When Real One Dies

Earlier this week, Dunkin’ Donuts announced that it was jumping on the call-it-anything-but-a-Cronut craze by offering its own croissant/donut hybrid. Alas, the early word from one fan of the original Cronut is not so appetizing. [More]

(Groovnick)

Does Using Someone Else’s Costco Card To Steal From Store Count As Burglary?

When you leave a store without having paid for something, you’ve likely committed the crime of theft, but if you use someone else’s card to get into a warehouse club like Costco or Sam’s Club and then walk out of the store without paying for items in your bag, have you also committed the crime of burglary? A New Mexico appeals court says no, but it depends on where you live. [More]

(Kerry Lannert)

Developmentally Disabled Man Falls Over Mall Railing, Dies

Police say that what happened yesterday at the Palisades Center mall in the suburbs of New York City was a terrible accident. Residents from a nearby group home for developmentally disabled adults were on a trip to the local mall, and somehow––nobody knows quite how yet––one of the residents fell over a third-floor railing, landing at the bottom of an escalator near the Best Buy store. He died on the scene. [More]

(Marike79)

Deer Goes On Rampage Breaking Windows At Subway, Visiting Auto Repair Center

A deer’s lack of opposable thumbs led him to take a different route while trying to obtain a foot-long from a Pennsylvania Subway: jumping through the window. But things didn’t end there, the wild animal continued his rampage down the street at an auto repair shop. [More]

(John)

Nissan Recalls 1,848 Infiniti Vehicles Over Defective Takata Airbags

The number of vehicles recalled related to defective Takata airbags increased by more than 1,000 vehicles Friday, as Nissan issued a recall of luxury Infiniti vehicles. [More]

(Patrick)

Walmart Shoplifter Threatens To Infect Employee With HIV

A wannabe shoplifter at a Dallas Walmart somehow thought it would be a good idea to threaten a store employee with HIV infection rather than get in trouble for trying to pilfer $11 worth of frozen food from the retailer. [More]

(SOB Photography)

Forget Black Friday, Holiday Shopping Season Starts Tomorrow

While children and parents around the country are sitting around, regretting the huge amount of sugar and chocolate consumed tonight, the folks at Walmart, Amazon and other stores are not only busting out the holiday decorations, but reducing prices and offering short-term large-scale sales for early holiday shoppers. [More]

FCC To Propose New “Hybrid” Approach To Net Neutrality

FCC To Propose New “Hybrid” Approach To Net Neutrality

The FCC proposed their new, “fast lane” net neutrality rule back in May. Since then pretty much everyone — from Congress to 3 million regular people, to members of the FCC — has objected in one way or another. And now it looks like FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler is going to revise the plan. [More]

(Ron G)

Starbucks Plans To Launch Delivery Service In 2015

If you didn’t things could be more convenient than having the ability to order and pay-ahead of picking up your morning coffee then you’d be wrong. Starbucks is reportedly taking its push to be the most convenient form of morning java a step farther by launching delivery service next year. [More]

Consumerist Friday Flickr Finds

(Tom Richardson)

Here are six of the best photos that readers added to the Consumerist Flickr Pool in the last week, picked for usability in a Consumerist post or for just plain neatness. [More]