Dominos Pizza Man Building Catholic Wonderland

Did you know the founder of Domino’s Pizza is building a Catholic utopia?

From Slate:

    “In March of last year, Tom Monaghan, founder of Domino’s Pizza, promised that Ave Maria, the planned community he is developing near Naples, Fla., would be a Roman Catholic haven in secular America. “We’re going to control all the commercial real estate, so there’s not going to be any pornography sold in this town,” he said. “We’re controlling the cable system. The pharmacies are not going to be able to sell condoms or dispense contraceptives.”

And now you know. And knowing is not only power, it’s also half the battle.

Makes one reconsider their whole 555 propostion, wherein you get three pizzas for five bucks apiece. The holy trinity, father, son, holy ghost. There’s some definite numerological signifigances to be investigated here, for sure.

Not that we have a problem with people creating a gated, catholic lifestyler comunity. Just that you might think a little extra hard with biting into that slice of pepperoni deep dish. That’s the sweat of God dripping down your chin.

Daddy, do they serve pizza in heaven?

Pizza My Heart [via Agenda, Inc.]

Comments

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  1. RaginCajun says:

    Monaghan sold Domino’s in 1998. Has nothing to do with the company now. The pizza still stinks, though.

  2. Danilo says:

    The innate capitalist in me screams:

    “Imagine how much you could make selling contraception door to door!”

    Gotta love artificial scarcity.

  3. Paul D says:

    I predict they’re going to have lots of kids running around that community.

    When THAT becomes a problem for them, I will simply point and laugh.

  4. CTSLICK says:

    I wish him luck in his effort to shut out the worlds evils but I think he’s a bit optimistic. Insulating people from all the worldly perils simply leaves them unable to cope when they are finally “exposed”.

  5. airship says:

    One of the greatest things about America is that anyone can make billions by selling a shoddy product, then sell out and waste the profits in whatever way he sees fit. And we can (a) decide not to buy his products, so as not to support his causes, and (b) not go and live in his isolated saccharine whitebread community. Ain’t American wonderful?
    BTW, I really mean that. Because it means I can do whatever the heck I want, too.

  6. Ben Popken says:

    Robert writes:

    This is the 3rd time I can recall your site mocking Catholics.

    Pepperoni grease as the “sweat of God”?? That’s very classy, entertaining, and in keeping with the theme of your blog, consumer issues.

    I was visiting your site daily, many times twice a day. You’ve lost me for good. I’m sorry, but I don’t understand why you would be compelled to ridicule in this way or how you feel it makes your blog any more interesting or entertaining.

    Sincerely,

    Robert

    PS, the huge ad running on your page for One House At A TIme is funded, in part, by donations from the Catholic church in Mississippi. If your going to insult us, it’s kind of hypocritical to accept our money.

  7. Isn’t it interesting how people love a site when it ridicules individuals and entities they don’t care for, but as soon as the focus turns to a group towards whom they are sympathetic, all of a sudden they don’t care for our tone?

  8. AppTechie says:

    I certainly think so. I think the guy behind this farcical “community” has a gigantic pole up his ass…and I’M CATHOLIC!!! I can’t believe that this guy thinks this is a good idea…it simply isn’t. As for Robert, bud get your head on straight. Not everyone can agree all the time. If you don’t like it, then don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out…kthxbye

  9. SamC says:

    Anyone want to donate to my organization? I’m setting up a Pastafarian town in right next door. I need some help getting the beer volcano to function correctly.

    In less sarcastic tones, how many of his laws will be declared unconstitutional? How quickly before the first discrimination lawsuit is filed?

  10. GenXCub says:

    When your beliefs include Aliens and Phetans (scientology), we get to mock you. When the biggest news story about your religion in the last 20 years is the mass molestation of children by priests, we get to mock you.

    While the story in itself is not an impact to consumers, it IS pointing out a connection with big business, and a religious sect that is having severe PR issues, and that people within that sect feel like they can just shut themselves in from a “debauched” world that they helped create.

    They’re admitting defeat to temptation. They feel like they must completely be hermetically sealed away from temptation, or it will surely “get” them.

    When the CEO of Sony Corporation starts up a quaker/Amish commune devoid of electricity… it’ll get the same coverage, I’d wager.

  11. The Unicorn says:

    Not to mention the fact that a major part of being Catholic is talking shit about Catholicism’s less-palatable elements. (And yes, I am one too.)

    Plus, isn’t the concept of “free will” an integral element of religious practice? If I *can’t* buy porn, watch smutty/violent movies, or use contraceptives, then am I actually being pious by refraining from doing those things?

    The guy’s idea is just dumb, plain and simple, no matter your religious persuasion.

  12. Ben Popken says:

    To riff off The Unicorn, there’s a good op-ed in this Sunday’s NYT

    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/12/opinion/12zizek.html

    Quote, “During the Seventh Crusade, led by St. Louis, Yves le Breton reported how he once encountered an old woman who wandered down the street with a dish full of fire in her right hand and a bowl full of water in her left hand. Asked why she carried the two bowls, she answered that with the fire she would burn up Paradise until nothing remained of it, and with the water she would put out the fires of Hell until nothing remained of them: “Because I want no one to do good in order to receive the reward of Paradise, or from fear of Hell; but solely out of love for God.”

    Furthermore, “Fundamentalists do what they perceive as good deeds in order to fulfill God’s will and to earn salvation; atheists do them simply because it is the right thing to do. Is this also not our most elementary experience of morality? When I do a good deed, I do so not with an eye toward gaining God’s favor; I do it because if I did not, I could not look at myself in the mirror. A moral deed is by definition its own reward. David Hume, a believer, made this point in a very poignant way, when he wrote that the only way to show true respect for God is to act morally while ignoring God’s existence.”

  13. Re: Robert’s Comment

    Get over yourself.

    I’m an ex-Catholic homosexual, and I’ll wager that this site has probably made more cheap shots at the gays than at the Catholics, but I haven’t done an official count. Why do I remain? Because that’s part of the joy of reading Gawker Media blogs. (Also, I’m relatively certain that the vast majority of men working for Gawker are of my own persuasion, so either the little jibes are self-loathing or being able to laugh at themselves, which is all good with me).

    And it’s not hypocritical to take people’s money and mock them. By your logic, paying for advertising should gaurantee no negative coverage, which is clearly a ridiculous idea. “Well . . . the Catholics bought some commercials. Guess we can’t run that story on the Priests raping the altar boys. Same goes for that whole Wal-Mart Anti-Union Piece. And anything about the goverment. Or the fact that they found Tuberculosis in a Tylenol bottle, because they have an ad after Friends . . .” etceteras. Now, maybe it’s stupid for the Catholics to give money to the site if they don’t like being mocked, but that’s not The Consumerist’s fault.

    Gander

  14. garret2600 says:

    G.I. JOE!

  15. LLH says:

    yea, i think this guy’s living in fantasyland, wait, no, celebration that’s the town i’m thinking. you know, like the one that disney built up there near kissimmee and orlando. the town where ‘if you lived here you’d be in disneyworld – forEver’, a real life place where the stepford wives really ARE animatronics. only this place catholic and way less fun. it’s funny though, sw florida (a place i was subjected to for my high school years – ft.myers) is a transient place, half the winter population are snowbirds from the northern states, most would not be catholics (born in st.paul,mn i can tell you that us swedes are lutheran) and that i can only remember 1 catholic church/school combo in town (for those that were visiting from the boston area). but you do have the people that come from cuba and puerto rico that are catholic. but my guess is that this place will be out of their “price range” (the nice way to discriminate – without saying it’s because of their skin color). on the up side, the guy probably got the property for a song as it’s in the middle of the frickin’ swamp filled with alligators, mosquitoes with ensephelitus and drug growers with big guns and no brains called bubba. do you know what it takes to reclaim swampland? the high school i went to was built on swamp land about 10 miles from his place and right before the school opened 1/3 of it had collapsed from the sinkhole that was created from the fill dirt. he was on a morning news show this week as well. saying that he’s not building a ‘town’ he’s building a college with a living community for those that attend. katie totally busted him though. he looked like an idiot. this is going to be fun to watch. i bet the pope will send some nice fathers there, the one’s where no one has heard about prior ‘incidents’.

  16. Danilo says:

    Haha. I love Google AdSense. This is what I’m seeing right now in the ad frame at the bottom of the page:

    Free Pizza Coupon
    Papa John’s or Pizza Hut Free!
    Complete Sponsor’s Survey
    FreePizza.YourSmartRewards.com

    and

    Roman Catholic Church Nj
    Free to Join. 1000’s of pictures of
    Beautiful Catholic Singles
    http://www.CatholicPeopleMeet.com

    Also, Robert needs to calm his shit down. Gawker’s selling snark, not warm fuzzies. What does he think this is, a boy scout camp? Tell Joel he needs to find Robert one of our former editor’s amazing morning deals on a sense of humor. Maybe check Pricewatch.