Murder Me Elmo!

Every once and a while, something absolutely perfect in your life unexpectedly happens. Going from nadir to apex on the parabola of awesomeness: for some, it’s seeing that unexpected, infinitely coveted purple drop in World of Warcraft; for others, it’s going skydiving and landing in the missionary position inside Scarlett Johansen. But no matter what your dreams in life are, you have to admit, Elmo using his shrill nightmarish voice to tell small children looking for instructions on using their first potty that they are about to die is just shy of the best thing ever.


Family members said 16-month-old Miranda Boll’s new book, “Potty Time With Elmo,” was supposed to teach an interactive lesson using voice commands.

However, when the book’s buttons are pressed, it reportedly says something it is not supposed to — “who wants to die?”

For god’s sakes, don’t miss the video!

As an ancillary note, anyone else more disturbed about an entire book devoted to Elmo crapping than about him threatening the mortality of toddlers?