In commemoration of the death of this casual steakhouse dining facility, we present stand-up comedian Patton Oswalt’s paean to Black Angus’ mouth-pouch-stuffin’ profligacy. The going starts getting good at 0:52. [NSFW, cursing] (Thanks to mookiemookie!)
videos
Why The Fed Is Making "Bad Banks," And Why That Could Be Good
By 1.14.09
Marketplace’s Paddy “Sexycakes” Hirsch whips out the whiteboard to explain the how and why of the latest gimmick the Fed is deploying to ease the financial crisis. Now they’re making “bad banks” which will go buy the toxic assets from the banks so they can clean up their books. Hopefully over time these assets will mature past their heavily discounted value and the taxpayers can make money on the deal. But if the situation deteriorates and too many of the assets go to zero, as some indeed may, then we’ll be sitting on a big fat goose egg, again. Video inside.
Video: Shuffle Fun Shuffle Shuffle Fun Shuffle Fun Fun Shuffle Fun Fun Shuffle Just Plane Fun!
By 1.13.09
Here’s an internal pep video for Southwest Airlines from the 80’s. It’s got representatives from each part of the company rapping about their roles (do this do that we never get hairy we do it for you because we’re your secretary), with an interstitial chorus singing “Shuffle fun shuffle shuffle fun shuffle fun fun shuffle fun fun shuffle just plane fun” on my elementary schools’ auditorium stage while employees run around in plush airplane costumes. After about 9 minutes of that, it finally culminates in some sort of motivational orgy with singing and jiving and the CEO strutting around and the strobe lights flash and quick edits and a cascade of balloons drops from the ceilings and I can’t take it anymore. I think if I step on a Southwest Airlines plane again I’ll fall to the floor in like a PTSD-induced epileptic seizure… of excellent customer service! Video, inside, if you dare…
Video: Oil Speculators To Blame For Record Gas Prices After All
By 1.12.09
If you thought oil speculators as the reason behind the historic gas prices spikes of this summer was debunked, think again. From ’07 to when the price of oil collapsed, supply increased and demand dropped. According to basic economic theory, this should’ve meant the price went down. But all of a sudden an influx of capital, an infusion that brought the total at play from $13 billion to $300 billion, brought to market by large investment bankers, exploiting de-regulation and trading in black box private exchanges made possible by Enron, drove the price of oil from $69 to almost $150. A new 60 Minutes report explores the issue. Video inside.
Snuggies And ShamWows Beseige Nation's Cheap Airwaves
By 1.9.09
The economy is ‘sploding so that means it’s infomercial mating season. Prices for airtime are dropping as bigger advertisers pull their spots, so the Billy Mays of the world are now getting slots during 30 Rock commercial breaks. At the same time, more people are watching TV because they don’t have money to go out and it helps anesthetize them to the pain of reality. Thus, the rise of the ShamWow and the Snuggie, a super slurping sponge cloth, and a blanket with arms, respectively. Let’s take a closer look.
Monster Cable Drops Suit Against Monster Mini Golf
By 1.7.09
Monster Cable has decided to stop pursuing a trademark infringement against Monster Mini Golf. Judging by the post-settlement letter Noel sent the MiniGolf people, it seems that after both parties kicked their lawyers out of the room and talk directly, they were able to come to an amicable solution. Monster Cable will stop opposing the MiniGolf trademark and will cover MonsterMini Golf’s attorney fees. Noel’s letter, inside:
The Worst Target Ever Created: The One At The Atlantic Center Mall In Brooklyn
By 1.6.09
The FIPS blog, via undercover video (which contains NSFW curse words in textual format), attempts to uncover why the Target at the Atlantic Center Mall in Brooklyn is the absolute worst Target ever created. See, you people in the suburbs, with your nice Targets where products are arranged on the shelves in a sensible matter and the floors are clean and the lights are bright, probably don’t get it. This Target is like a Kmart that got too depressed to be physically able to put its shoes on in the morning. I know of this particular Target and speak from experience. So the FIPs people don’t get anywhere close to finding out why the Target is so bad, but they do approach its pathos. (The girl in the video blames the disarray on “the weekend” and “time of year.” Not true. It’s ALWAYS like that). Video inside…
Dog Shoplifts Bone From Grocery Store
By 12.29.08
What kind of world do we live in where even dogs have started shoplifting? A mildly amusing world, that’s what kind.
What The Hell Is Leveraging?
By 12.9.08
Leverage leverage leverage. Everyone’s talking about it, but what does it mean?
Nestle Quik Flipbook Ad On DC Metro Walls Is Kinda Magical
By 12.2.08
As the DC red line train I rode last week shot through a tunnel, a happy brown bunny jumped up and down on the walls, lofting up a bottle of Nestle Quik. It wasn’t a video, it was a series of back-illuminated panels, each one a successive frame in the animated cartoon. It was like running through flipbook in real life. I found a clip of it on YouTube, posted inside, the cartoon starts at 15 seconds in.
Video: How Credit Cards Become Bonds
By 11.26.08
We’ve heard lots about how mortgages get turned into tradeable securities, but they’re not the only thing. No no no, there was far too much Chinese money not able to earn anything on T-bonds for us to let them lie. Credit cards can become asset-backed bonds too. Marketplace’s Paddy Hirsch is back with his whiteboard and dry-erase markers to explain how it works. Video inside.
