Vince takes the ShamWow to a whole new level, as he tries to sell his famous macroshammy in Spanish. Yes, Spanish, a language he is not fluent in, a fact that becomes abundantly clear in this video. You’ll note there are far fewer shots of his face than in the original. However, he still has that exact same sideways grimace and contorted eyebrows thing going on. Must be something he perfected after long hours staring into a seedy hotel room mirror. UPDATE: And here’s Vince trying to sell the SlapChop in Spanish!
videos
What's This "Public-Private Partnership" Mean?
By 4.7.09
So the latest solution to the problem of these toxic assets on the banks’ books is a “public-private partnership” between the government and the private sector…yawn what is he going on about, I wish I had a pancake…oh wait! Here’s Paddy Hirsch from marketplace drawing stick figures on a whiteboard and explaining it all. Now we’re talking.
Obesity, The Terrorist Threat Within
By 4.7.09
In 2006, the State Department reported terrorism killed 28 US citizens. That same year, the CDC estimated obesity killed 112,000. Picking up where Supersize Me left off, Steven Greenstreet’s doc Killer at Large tries to figure out how we got this fat this fast. I haven’t seen the full film but I’m guessing HFCS getting splooged into everything is a major culprit. No, it’s not a question of HFCS vs Sugar, it’s the sweetening of nearly every product in America, a trend that just happened to be concurrent with the surge in the use of HFCS.
Beware The 7 Sins Of The Marketplace
By 4.6.09
Here’s seven different sneaky ways companies snag your cash, a little series CBC is calling “The Seven Sins Of The Marketplace.” There’s the sin of Addition, Omission, Creation, Salvation, Assurance, Persuasion, and Deception. What do those mean? Well, for instance, the Sin Of Creation is when a company invents a need you never knew you had, and then sells you a product to fulfill it. For the rest of ’em, check out CBC’s cool video.
Free Grand Slammwiches At Denny's April 8th
By 4.3.09
If you bring a friend with you to Denny’s April 8 between 6am and 2pm and order a Grand Slam, your friend will get a free Grand Slamwich. Not quite the same as their totally free breakfast promo after the Superbowl, but there’s still free food involved. Besides, going to Denny’s by yourself is a little depressing.
Lose Your Job? Ford Makes Your Payments For A Year
By 3.31.09
Not to be outdone by Hyundai, if you buy a Ford and lose your job, the car-maker announced they’ll make your payments for up to a year, up to $700 per month. President Mark Fields released a video about the “Ford Advantage Plan” on YouTube. Take a shot every time he says “confidence.” GM is supposed to announce their own version this morning, says Kicking Tires. UPDATE: And here it is.
How Badass Is Your Butt-Wipe? Consumer Reports Tests Toilet Paper
By 3.31.09
The “Wet Strike” test, seen in this video, is one of the ways Consumer Reports tests toilet paper. They stretch the paper over a beaker, wet it, and then dribble lead pellets onto it from a funnel. The paper that holds the most pellets is the strongest. Neat! Results will be unveiled in the May issue.
Why AIG Gave Your Money To Other Banks
By 3.30.09
There’s been a big stink about how AIG has given a bunch of taxpayer money to other banks. Why why why, demand the American people. Well, it’s not like they enjoy shoveling money out the door, wait, scratch that, but anyway, the real reason is because of something called “collateral calls.” Marketplace’s Paddy Hirsch explains the situation with the help of his friends Mr. Magic Marker and Mrs. White Board in this video.
Threat Of Small Claims Court Gets Wells Fargo Overdrafts Refunded
By 3.30.09
After he got some overdraft fees that he felt were unfair, Karney Hatch decided to put the banking system on trial, and make a documentary about it.
What Is Wrong With Quiznos?
By 3.27.09
Seriously, what’s up with them? Their new ad features an oven that begs a Quiznos employee to “put it in me, Scott,” as the camera pans over what it calls a Toasty Torpedo. There’s also a subliminal flash of a periscope jutting up from the flames at one point, as our eagle-eyed reader Bbender pointed out.
Stop Hungry Hungry Hippo Banks From Gobbling Your Bucks
By 3.25.09
Oh noes! The Hungry Hungry Hippo Banks are trying to gobble up your happy money fish! You only have 5 days left to get them to stop by writing the Fed and saying NO to banks default stuffing you into an overdraft fee programs. Send an email to regs.comments@federalreserve.gov with “Docket No. R-1343” in the subject line. Or you can use this online form.
Invest In Canned Food And Shotguns, Gremlins Advise
By 3.25.09
Forget T-bonds, money markets, gold, or even your mattress, Gremlins have taken over the New York Stock Exchange and they know exactly where you should put all of your money. (Thanks to Jonathan!)
Dan Hesse, You Can Keep Making Commercials Forever
By 3.13.09
Tonya emailed us a video clip of a cute little piggy with a robot voice complaining about being trapped on hold. We appreciated the rant, but were even more fascinated with the technology that allowed her friend to turn a long, written diatribe into an instant cartoon. You know who needs this? Dan Hesse, shunned pitchman and CEO for Sprint! You’ll never have to stop making commercials now. Also, we’ve decided to make you British.
FTC Launches Own Singing Credit Report Commercials
By 3.10.09
As we’ve said repeatedly, AnnualCreditReport.com is the good website to go to when you need to pull a credit report, because it’s actually free. The others, including freecreditreport.com, use the promise of free the way an angler fish uses its forehead-worm-thing to trap dumb little fish. The FTC has decided to fight fire with fire by releasing its own jingles. To be honest, we’re not 100% sold on them—they have kind of a squaresville, PBS vibe, which is gonna really hamper their viral power. Check them out below.
Check Out The New Commercial For Citibank!
By 3.9.09
Here’s what you can expect from a nationalized Citibank, courtesy of Funny or Die. NSFW warning: this thing is full of f-bombs, and even an r-mine. (Full video after the jump.)
Disguised As Dishcloths Pile, Man Hides Inside IKEA
By 3.6.09
Some German’s art project is to engage in “urban camouflage” by creating three different ghillie suits made of bulk IKEA items: piles of dishcloths, boxes, and shopping bags. Then he goes and “hides” out in the open inside the IKEA, blending in with his surroundings and only disturbing shoppers when he moves. Hilarious, brilliant! Here are the videos so you get the full effect:
Blockbuster's Stock Nosedives On News It Is Investigating Bankruptcy
By 3.3.09
Blockbuster’s stock just dropped 79% this afternoon after Bloomberg published a story that said the company hired the firm Kirkland & Ellis “to evaluate restructuring options, including a possible pre-packaged bankruptcy.” Blockbuster says they’ve only hired the firm for “refinancing and capital raising initiatives,” and that they do not intend to file for bankruptcy.
