roundups

“”Fucking customers, I’m tired of everyone not listening when they don’t even know what they’re talking about.”

“When Pierre visited Ibiza, Spain and other parts of Europe for two weeks, his iPhone went with him, and he returned with memories of a hedonistic summer vacation, and a $4190.76 bill from AT&T”

“Thus, the many, many consumers (other than the original intended recipients) who have been forwarded a copy of the same coupon by others and tried to redeem it at Blockbuster outlets have been informed (by store personnel and/or in-store signage) that the coupon is not legitimate and will not be accepted.”

“Meet Kyle Shoemaker, a 9-year-old with two credit cards and an $18,000 line of credit. Kyle is a victim of identity theft.”

“…you got the putting calories on the menu thing right. Now, let’s try draping the calories across the sub in a geometrically satisfying pattern, the one that fulfills the design destiny intended by your sandwich scientists.”