Condé Nast marketing department, are you on crack? Have you put some trinket from “The Hills” in charge of your mail server? Justin has emailed you repeatedly to tell you to stop spamming him. His marketing preferences on your site show a vast field of “No” for every single title on your list. And yet he’s received 16 emails since his last request—almost three a month. You should know better—or, as Justin puts it, “This isn’t some Nigerian guy trying to make my penis larger or send me money, this is a company here, in the United States, that I know should be held accountable.”
marketing
Can The "Sears Catalog" Save Sears?
By 4.7.08
When Sears chairman, Eddie Lampert, took over Kmart, he was determined to revive the long dead “blue light special.” Excited about bringing back the old favorite, Lampert’s chief marketing officer called the new campaign a “marketplace of discoveries.”
Cablevision Tries To Sell You Phone Service During Funeral
By 3.28.08
Cablevision tried to telemarket Greg Scoblete phone service during a funeral:
Two days ago I attended a wake. During the wake my cellphone rang…I couldn’t answer the first call, but shortly thereafter it rang again. “Must be important,” I thought, ducking out of the room.
It turned out to be a Cablevision telemarketer trying to rope me into the triple play. Fair enough. I told the rep that I wasn’t interested in the triple play and in any event, I was at a wake.
“I understand that,” he said, “but I’ll have you off the phone in five minutes saving money on your long-distance bills.”
Congratulations, Cablevision, you’ve taken the definition of shameless marketing to a whole new level.
Spirit Airlines Hold "Threesome Sale"
By 3.28.08
Spirit Airlines, holding a “Threesome Sale”, is apparently desperate for attention and I guess we’ll just have to give it to them. In this sale, members of the $9 Club get fares from $3 each way, seat upgrades for $3, and $33 for 33 hours. This comes on the heels of their last titillatingly titled marketing push, the “M.I.L.F sale,” which simply meant “Many Islands Low Fares,” and in no way, shape, or form, referenced American Pie. Now, before you get all outraged, remember that this is called “targeted marketing.” If you’re buying tickets for $3, classiness is probably not the first thing on your mind. I can’t wait for their next sale. I hear their marketing teams is busy coming up with clever acrostics for “gangbang.”
LEAKS: Insider Says Verizon Isn't Fulfilling Advertised Discounts For Tens Of Thousands
By 3.27.08
A mysterious letter was anonymously faxed to our headquarters by a self-described “disgusted” Verizon customer service rep angry at how he/she says Verizon is screwing over landline customers. Here’s the highlights of his gut-spilling:
- 30,000+ people nationwide have still not received the free HDTVs Verizon promised new FiOS triple-play subscribers
- Verizon totally screwed up the “blitz” promotion, leading some customers signing up and not getting their discounts, others getting too much discount, and others not getting their discount for months
- Employees issued over $1 million in credit in January ’08, double what was given out in Jan ’07
- $250 in discretionary credit has been reduced to $50
- Internally, Verizon refers to customer service reps who give out “too much” credit due are called “offenders.”
By 3.26.08
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Want to reduce your Bank of America spam mail? Our commenter tinder posted a link to their opt-out page in our earlier post on Chase spam. [www.bankofamerica.com/privacy/]
By 3.26.08
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Yahoo’s “Unlimited” email, isn’t. [WSJ]
How To Get Chase To Stop Sending You Direct Mail Offers Over And Over And Over
By 3.26.08
Anyone who’s a customer of Chase knows how hardcore they can be about direct mail advertising. Martin writes:
Over the last 12-24 months, I’ve been annoyed with about 3-4 mailings a week from Chase for various add-on services and useless products. Already a customer of theirs, I did not appreciate this onslaught of advertising. Here’s a quick opt-out website in which you can cancel all direct marketing letters from Chase… dnmoptions.chase.com.
Citibank Uses Sneaky Way To Keep Sending You Junk Mail Even After You "Opt Out"
By 3.25.08
After he continued to receive mailings for months from his bank after he thought he opted out of their mailings, reader Perre asked Citibank if they had honored his request. They said, “yes you’re opted out of Balance Transfer offers and Cash Convenience Checks.” Then he cleverly thought to ask which mailing lists he was still opted in. Citibank told him he was still on “Sales and Marketing” and “Third Party Sharing.” They explained this by saying when you call to opt-out, they only take you off “in-statement offers.” We’re not sure what that means, it sounds like they’re just agreeing to not put additional marketing offers in your billing statement envelope, which is definitely not what any normal person would have in mind when they call to opt-out. Sneaky. When you call a company to opt-out of their mailings, be sure to also ask which lists you’re opted in, and then ask to get off those as well.
KidsStuff.com Silently Charges $18 Subscription Fee To Grandparent Who Shopped There Two Years Ago
By 3.24.08
C writes in with another lesson on why you should check your statements frequently:Two years ago I purchased items for my grandchildren at KidsStuff.com. This month (March 2008) I found an $18.00 charge from them on my American Express card.
5 Things Your Customers Aren't Telling You
By 3.19.08
I’m working on a 20-minute presentation to be delivered before a bunch of marketing dudes and dudettes and I’ve been tasked with delivering my attempt at insights about The Consumerist and marketing in general. I’ve come up with a general framework of “The 5 Things Your Customers Aren’t Telling You” and wanted to throw them out to see what you all think and see whether they’re a good representation of our overarching themes and beliefs. Here’s what I’ve got so far:
Just Because It Says "Organic" Doesn't Mean It Won't Give You A Ton Of Cancer
By 3.18.08
Here at the Consumerist we’re not trying to tell you that you need to buy organic soap, but if you do want organic soap… we think you should get what you’re paying for.
LEAKS: Best Buy's Internal Customer Profiling Document
By 3.18.08
Attention Profiled Shoppers: Consumerist is now in possession of an internal training document that teaches Best Buy blue shirts how to stereotype customers. While Best Buy’s use of personas has been known for several years, our exclusively obtained document contains several brand-new Best Buy personas, including “Maria Middle America” and “Empty Nesters” Helen and Charlie.
The Guy Who Invented The Idea Of Having Over 30 Flavors Of Spaghetti Sauce
By 3.17.08
Me me me me, that’s what product development and marketing is all about these days. Give people individual experiences, let them customize, and choice choice choice. It didn’t used to be that way.
On The Radio, FiOS Free TV Promotion Changed To Free Gift Cards
By 3.17.08
Further distancing itself from its problematic free TV promotion (which for some customer has so far been lacking in free TVs), a reader in the Bronx reports that Verizon FiOS triple-play bundle ads on the radio are now offering $200 gift cards for Circuit City. As previously noted, the TV ads are now touting free Samsung digital cameras.
They Ruined Kool-Aid Man
By 3.17.08
Look at what they did to Kool-Aid man. He started out as a giant jug of sugar water, busting through walls and letting you drink out of him, a seemingly never-ending supply of flavorful fun. Flash forward to today and his liquid stomach is stapled. How the hell are we supposed to have an all-afternoon sugar high off that teacup? And look what they did to his clothes. Instead of fruity nudity, fig leaves. And look how they foreshortened him to emphasize the fruit and berries in his hands. So now he’s tiny and modest and healthy. Yay, how awesome. How far we have fallen from Eden. After the jump, a cartoon rendering of Dane Cook’s Kool-Aid standup bit, which captures the essence of the original Kool-Aid man commercials in its own special way.
By 3.14.08
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Kohl’s has signed musician Avril Lavigne to be the face of Abbey Dawn, a juniors lifestyle brand. A perfect synergy, one is just as much “punk” as the other. [NYmag via Don’t Believe The Hypebeast]
Pizza Hut Forces You To Opt-In To Spam Marketing When Ordering Online
By 3.14.08
When you place an order on Pizza Hut’s website, you have to create an account, and to create an account, you have to check the box that says you agree to their privacy policy and terms of use. It also says, “I agree to receive information about Pizza Hut®/WingStreet® couons, promotions, announcements, events and specials.” This e-commerce blogger is amazed that Pizza Hut would resort to such a sneaky tactic, which ultimately ruins the customer experience and probably costs them online orders.
