Consumerist

lawyers

DC Judge Reconsiders Demands, Now Wants Only $54 Million For Misplaced Pants

By consumeristcarey 6.9.07

You may remember Judge Roy “Fancy Pants” Pearson; he sued his Korean cleaners for $65 million after his pants were misplaced, claiming signs promising “Satisfaction Guaranteed” and “Same Day Service” constituted consumer fraud. Judge Fancy Pants has reconsidered his suit, and has reduced his demands to only $54 million. The cleaners’ attorney thinks Fancy Pants is being unreasonable:

Chris Manning, the Chungs’ attorney, says that can be considered fraud only if the signs misled a “reasonable” person. No reasonable person, he says, would interpret them to be an unconditional promise of satisfaction.

We think this is the perfect case to be adjudicated either by Judge Judy, or the Judge Judy Soundboard. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

walmart

Walmart Executives Gone Wild

By consumeristcarey 5.26.07

Walmart’s General Counsel, Robert Rhoads, had an affair with a subordinate and paid for her apartment and college tuition; it ended well when Rhoads divorced his wife and married the subordinate.

first amendment

Verizon Claims Disclosing Customer Records To The NSA Is "Free Speech"

By Meg Marco 5.7.07

“In fact, Verizon basically argues that the entire lawsuit is a giant SLAPP (Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation) suit, and that the case is an attempt to deter the company from exercising its First Amendment right to turn over customer calling information to government security services.

pants

DC Judge Seeks $65 Million In Damages From Korean Cleaner

By consumeristcarey 4.28.07

A DC judge has filed a $65 million suit against a Korean cleaner, claiming that signs promising “Satisfaction Guaranteed” and “Same Day Service” constitute consumer fraud. Roy Pearson was appointed to a DC judgeship, a job that requires a suit. The judge brought several suits to Custom Cleaners for alteration, but one pair of pants went missing. So the judge did what any reasonable DC judge might do; he sent the cleaner a different kind of suit: a law suit.

How does he get to $65 million? The District’s consumer protection law provides for damages of $1,500 per violation per day. Pearson started multiplying: 12 violations over 1,200 days, times three defendants. A pant leg here, a pant leg there, and soon, you’re talking $65 million.

The cleaner offered $12,000 to settle the case, but the judge refused. The original cost of the alteration: $10.50 — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

finances

Hey! Let's Get Divorced!

By Meg Marco 4.4.07

Finding good, helpful information about divorce and your finances is difficult. The divorce business is big money for lawyers, and it’s sort of a sad topic, so there’s no real motivation for someone to make available a lot of free fun-to-read information about getting divorced.

lawsuits

Fen-Phen Lawyers Run Off With $126 Million of $200 Million Settlement

By Meg Marco 3.27.07

W. L. Carter knew there was something fishy going on when he went to his lawyers’ office a few years ago to pick up his settlement check for the heart damage he had sustained from taking the diet drug combination fen-phen.

NEW YORK

Read The Fine Print Before Buying From A Floor Plan

By consumeristcarey 3.26.07

•If all else fails, make the fine print work for you. Loopholes may allow a penalty-free escape from disappointing properties. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER

hardballs

How To Take Your Case To Small Claims Court

By samglover 3.23.07

Small claims or conciliation court provides a way for individuals to settle their differences with the help of a neutral referee or judge. [More]

readers

Verizon's Mediation Process

By consumeristcarey 3.11.07

A tipster recommends Verizon’s mediation process for untangling especially messy problems. Verizon charged our tipster $300 per month for overages beyond 450 minutes, despite assurances she was on a plan with 1,000 minutes. Though Verizon promised to resolve the problem, our tipster’s service was disconnected while she was traveling on business. When further calls failed to resolve the situation, our customer invoked Verizon’s mediation process. According to Verizon’s FAQs:

Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process in which a neutral third person (a mediator) aids the parties in jointly resolving their dispute. Unlike arbitration, a mediator does not decide the dispute for the parties. Instead, he or she helps the parties resolve it themselves (usually in a form that will be final and binding). Nothing said in the mediation can be used in a later arbitration or lawsuit.

Our tipster and Verizon jointly resolve their dispute, after the jump…

cars

BBB Sluts For GM

By consumerist.com 2.1.07

The BBB is GM’s bitch, at least that’s what we gather from a post by David Berlind, Executive Editor at ZDNet.

verizon

Verizon C&D’s VerizonMath Tshirts

By consumerist.com 1.10.07

Verizon’s intellectual property lawyers are demanding the removal of tshirts parodying their inability to tell the difference between .002 cents and .002 dollars. The legal beagles say in their letter [pdf]:

lawsuits

So You’ve Been Served By A Debt Collector

By consumerist.com 11.10.06

Not all people whose accounts are sold to debt collectors are cheats and scalawags. Sometimes they’re just people who made a mistake somewhere… or sometimes the debt isn’t even valid

readers

Progressive Insurance. Not.

By consumerist.com 10.24.06

Just because an insurance company has Progressive in their name doesn’t mean they’re any different from the usual penny-pinchers.

apartment complexes

Why No Lawyer Will Take Javin’s Case Against Fox Chase Apartments

By consumerist.com 10.24.06

Reader (and lawyer) Sam Glover says:

waldorf

Apartment Complex Evicts With Fake Excuses So It Can Raise Rent 40%

By consumerist.com 10.23.06

Javin got unjustly kicked out his apartment in Waldorf, MD.

contracts

Get Your Free Legal Forms Here!

By consumerist.com 10.23.06

Need legal forms? A buying agreement? A selling agreement? Employment contract? A lease? A loan? The Internet Legal Research Group has enough of them to start building a Tower of Babel of Legalese.

lawsuits