This unedited transcript from a recent “customer support” chat is pure, undiluted idiocy. Do not be surprised if after reading it, you feel a little dead inside, or a little stupider. That’s how you know the customer service chatbot—or person, which is kind of sad—is doing its job.
Adobe: "It Would Have Been A Pleasure To Assist You With This Issue. [Unfortunately, We're Totally Incompetent]"
If you produced expensive, frequently pirated software, you’d probably want the process for buying it to be as easy on the customer as possible, right? If you’re Adobe, not so much. Yet another reader writes in to share her frustrations with trying to buy Adobe’s Dreamweaver.
The ever-thoughtful economists over at Freakonomics are stumped by eBay member lpinok, who bid $55.71 for a $50 Target gift card.
New York City Comptroller Bill Thompson has proposed tying a Cable Consumer Bill of Rights into the 10-year franchise renewals Time Warner and Cablevision are expected to sign later this year. The proposal would force cable operators to disclose information about their expenses and service goals—which sounds nice and important on paper—but wastes an unrivaled opportunity to end the cable operators’ most hated practices.
Despite three attempts, HP cannot fix the video vomit that is going on in Willy’s laptop. After Willy sent it in for the third time, describing the problem to HP as “Video Related Problem: Lines, Spots, Scrambled,” HP replaced the audio PCA and sent it back marked “Repaired.”
Google’s telephone service GrandCentral has been down all morning. The service’s first general outage affects all customers; any calls to GrandCentral numbers are immediately disconnected.
(Thanks to Karen!)
Half an hour of arguing on the phone with a Sears rep and I was able to get the discount credited back to my card, but no free shipping, and it could take 10-14 days for them to “trace” my $20 blow gun. I am filing a claim with my credit card issuer just to be safe. This is the same company that sends me a free ratchet in the mail every time I exchange one in the store, so I can’t complain too much.
This order is tragic. Just another reason customers avoid Sears like bird flu and the company can’t turn a profit. If Sears further bungles the response or fails to send a free ratchet, share the failure with Sears’ executive office—but don’t ask for Mr. Lewis. He was fired for gross incompetence.
See, I try to be a good guy and purchase a retail copy of Windows XP to use on my Macbook. But the stupid security sticker is covering up the last five digits of the product key, and trying to remove the security sticker tears the label. I give up.
Boy, that sucks.
Reader Sarah writes in to show us how UPS treated her Easter Basket.
Reader Jennifer would like to see the Colorado Rockies kick some Boston Red Sox butt in the World Series. Sadly, the ticketing system has melted under the pressure and she was unable to get her tickets—and she’s not the only one.