deals

• Today’s Woot! is one of the few wide-screen portable media players on the market: the Archos AV500 30GB Portable Media Player. The design? Not terribly elegant. But it’s a good, dedicated MPEG player at only $269.99.

• Today’s Toofertoosday Woot! is a couple of Vector VEC040 70 Watt Power Inverters… little gizmos you can plug into your car lighter orifice to run your gear-shift-side Eazy-Bake oven, for piping hot cupcakes on the go. $19.99.

• Today’s Woot! is a pretty sweet deal for those who still magically pluck songs from the ether as opposed to loading up their iPod: the Delphi RoadyXT XM Satellite Radio Receiver with Car Kit, Free Activation and 3 Months of the XM service for $59.99. Trust rebates? You can bring it down another $20 by sending in this rebate form.

• Today’s Woot! is a pair of Logitech Bluetooth Headphones for the iPod for $19.99. Frankly, I’ve never understood the desire to wear headphones this bulky: this isn’t the 80’s and you ain’t Masta Blasta, sho’nuff.

• My apartment’s small bathroom features a mirror that directly faces the squatting defecator on the porcelain throne. It is unsettling for most. Nevertheless, I have taken an opportunity to set up an NCL Security Wireless Network Day/Night Camera behind that mirror, turning it on when I have girls over. For $99, you should too, courtesy of Woot!

• Today’s Toofertoosday Woot! is two Kensington Optical Wireless USB Mice for $17.99. Unfortunately, they look astonishingly crappy, involving a clunky base station connected by USB umbilical to your PC. Still, handy for garroting.

• Today’s Woot! is the ATO iSee 360i Video Recorder for 4G and 5G iPods. $189.99. Add this rebate for another $40 off (and remember never to make a purchase based upon a rebate… it’s imaginary money until you get it in your hand). Who needs such a thing?

• Good news, torture aficionados! Today’s Woot! is the Vector Jump Start System with Air Compressor for $29.99. Includes two clamps that will affix to any protuberance of flesh, whether earlobe, nipple or genitalia.

• Today’s Woot!: the D-Link DI-624M Super G MIMO Router for $39.99. If you don’t have it already, wireless is cool: I’m typing this on my toilet right now.

• The Wednesday Woot! is a svelted Toshiba Progressive Scan DVD Player with HD Upconversion HDMI Out and DivX Playback for $39.99. This isn’t true high-def, of course — merely some magical trickery where 480p is upscaled to look half decent at higher resolutions. Since my television was last upgraded around the time Andy Griffin went color, I’ll take everyone’s word that this is cool.

• Today’s Woot! is completely useless: two SecurityDR Data Guard Thumbdrive Locks for $4.99. The idea is you’re supposed to clamp it down on the end of your USB dongle so no one can access your files. Alternatively, you could just password protect the dang thing.

• I hate waking up in the morning and discovering that the morning Woot! is some mysterious devices the purpose of which completely eludes me, a Lud. It’s a Jensen 300 Watt 2 Outlet Power Inverter for $19.99. Actually bothering to read the Woot! text, it becomes clear that this device is meant to be plugged into the lighter port in your car, thus allowing you to use your Eazy-Bake oven to make cupcakes on the go.

• With TiVo’s increasingly nerfing its feature set to placate media fat cats, today’s Woot! might be of interest: the Adaptec GameBridge TV USB2 Video Capture/TV Tuner. Fight back! Capture your favorite shows and then setup a torrent. Information wants to be free; entitlement wants to be ubiquitous.