You know what they need to make? A zombie film starring reanimated furniture. The whole walking corpse thing is just so done. But an undead end table stalking you through your house and hacking through the closet door to reveal your pathetic hiding spot and devour your flesh? Now that’s something I’d pay to see, even if it wasn’t in 3- as, apparently, all movies will be in the future. Until that cinematic masterpiece hits the silver screen, I guess Steve’s story of how Ashley Furniture wouldn’t stop calling him until he sent their headquarters an Executive Email Carpet Bomb will have to suffice…
