Retentions representatives are the cellphone company’s last line of defense between you and freedom. One brave retentions representative has come forward to teach us how to craft a direct, earnest request that will lead retention reps to do your bidding. Rivaled in effectiveness only by executive customer support, retentions reps are empowered to strike down nuisance fees and bargain liberally, all to keep you as a customer. If you were ever tempted to threaten your cellphone company with cancellation, this one is a must read.
csrs
San Diego Union Tribune Tries To Trick Customers Into Renewing By Demanding Payment For "Unpaid Bill"
By 3.8.08
Dean writes:
I received a call yesterday from my newspaper (the San Diego Union Tribune). The nice young man on the phone told me that I had an unpaid bill, and if I liked, he could take care of that over the phone with me right then. I take a certain amount of pride in paying all my bills promptly, so my first impulse was to go ahead and get it taken care of asap. But after the first few seconds of surprise and confusion, I got suspicious.
50 Ways To Get Through Phone Systems
By 3.6.08
VOIP-News has a list of 50 ways to get through to a real, live, not necessarily well-trained CSR on phone systems. We’re posting this not just because their first tip is “Read the Consumerist,” but because there are some really good ideas here, like hitting up EDGAR to search for contact info on public companies.
Capital One Won't Really Close Your Credit Card, Will Secretly Continue To Bill You
By 2.5.08
When Capital One “closes” your credit card account, they’ll continue to allow automatic withdrawals even though the account is closed. But they won’t send you a statement—you know, because it’s closed!—so that you’ll end up with late fees. Quenten experienced this first hand when he closed his account recently, and now Capital One has sent his account to collections over a $38.00 late fee for two 38-cent charges that he never knew about.
Unplugging Your DirecTV Box Could Cost You $79.95
By 2.2.08
A DirecTV CSR claimed that reader Mark changed his installation by following troubleshooting instructions to unplug and reconnect his box, and now owed $79.95. Mark, who paid $6 per month for DirecTV’s protection plan, refused to pay the fee and asked to cancel to his service.
$100 iPhone Credit Mysteriously Evaporates
By 1.31.08
Dawn writes to tell us that she and her husband both received the $100 iPhone credits last fall, but when she tried to use them on December 4th she discovered one of the credits had a zero balance. An Apple CSR told her to go ahead and make her purchase without it, and the $100 would be credited immediately to her Visa. Unfortunately, she took his advice.
Returning A Defective Home Theater To Circuit City Makes You Bang Your Head Against A Wall
By 12.28.07
“On November 29th, 2007, I purchased a Phillips HTS3544 HTIB (Home Theater in-a-box) online at circuit city.com for $197.47. This included the extra that I paid for expedited 3-day shipping. Done. I thought with the weekend coming up I would receive it around December 3rd-4th. And thats when the problems started rolling on it. The first problem was that the circuit city warehouse didn’t even notify FedEx until December 4th, and I didn’t receive the item until December 7th (which is 3-day on FedEx’s part). Okay, fine, I think Ill just call and have the extra charges refunded. But no way did I know this would spiral into what it has become.”
DirecTV Just As Incompetent As Comcast
By 12.22.07
“I was one of the majority when it came to being fed up with Comcast. However, unlike most, I never had any of the customer service nightmares so often reported on consumer sites. My dissatisfaction with Comcast was purely based on what I felt was unfair pricing.
Resilient Customer Gets DirecTV To Drop Price Of HD Box From $299 To $0
By 12.8.07
A DirecTV customer service representative offered Justin a free upgrade to a better HD box as part of DirecTV’s legacy program. Justin, a 2-year customer, was disconnected before he could accept the upgrade. When he called back, he reached a CSR who demanded $299 for the same box.
Charter Bills For Returned Equipment, Sends Account To Collections
By 12.8.07
Charter accused Kevin of failing to pay for unreturned equipment, even though Kevin paid his final bill in full and has a receipt for a returned cable box. Charter customer service representatives were happy to play whack-a-mole whenever the bogus charges for the equipment appeared on Kevin’s bill, but Charter eventually tired of the infuriatingly unwinnable game and sent Kevin’s account to collections.
Namco Bandai Won't Sell Accessory Separately
By 12.5.07
Some non-game playing exec at Namco Bandai has decided that the gun controller that ships with Time Crisis 4 for the Playstation 3 cannot and will not be sold separately, even though there’s a 2-player mode in the game. Their CSR’s helpful suggestion? “You will need another copy of Time Crisis 4.” It’s as if the game is a license to use one gun controller—if you want more gun controllers, simply buy more licenses!
Amazon Cancels Black Friday Orders, CSRs Trick Customer Into Buying $90 Mouse
By 12.4.07
Amazon either ran out of inventory or didn’t catch several pricing errors on their Black Friday sale until after they’d already begun to ship products, but either way a lot of customers just had their orders canceled. One customer even got tricked into re-purchasing a wireless mouse at full price because the CSR promised him Amazon would honor the sale price—then after placing the order received an email from another CSR saying that the promise was no good and he’d be charged the full $89.99. Then the CSRs continued their all-drinking, all-smoking holiday office party over at Amazon Customer Service.
Comcast Apologizes For Calling You A Liar
By 11.21.07
George, who was called a liar by an ill-tempered Comcast CSR (who didn’t believe that George had been quoted a lower price than the one that was noted on his account) has written in to let us know that Comcast apologized:
Dish Network Sends Prepaid Return Boxes To Wrong Address Three Times, Bills For Unreturned Equipment
By 11.17.07
Reader Ryan called the Dish Network three weeks before moving to disconnect his service. Dish graciously offered to send prepaid return boxes for his equipment, but instead of sending them to Ryan’s new address, Dish sent them to his old address. Three times. Oddly, Dish managed to properly address a bill to Ryan’s new address. Ryan writes:
Verizon Will Waive Late Fee Only If You Pay Through The Automated Phone System
By 11.17.07
Verizon was willing to refund the late fee on reader Steve’s bill, but only if he paid through Verizon’s automated phone system. Steve instead offered to give his billing information to the Verizon CSR to whom he was speaking, an offer that was refused. Steve writes:
I used to work at a call center for a certain mobile provider. I understand exactly what reps deal with. I’ve had my manager tell me I need to cut back on bathroom time. I’ve had them tell me I need to get my calls shorter. I’ve had them tell me I can’ waive reconnection fees. I’ve been there. I know.
Attention AT&T: Don't Lie About "Massive Outages," Reporters Have Phones Too
By 11.12.07
When Stephanie the AT&T “escalation affairs administrator” lied to Jan about why her phone couldn’t be repaired for several days, she probably didn’t know what Jan did for a living.
T-Mobile Loses Cancellation Letter Twice, Sends Account To Collection Agency
By 11.11.07
T-Mobile sent reader Ivan’s account to collections after he twice cancelled his service. He first cancelled in August, but T-Mobile mysteriously lost the cancellation letter. Ivan faxed over a second cancellation letter while a CSR waited on the phone to confirm receipt. Having switched to Verizon, Ivan didn’t care when in September, someone stepped on the T-Mobile phone lying in his car, breaking the screen. T-Mobile is now demanding that Ivan pay a bill that lists only a reinstatement fee. Ivan writes:
Geeks.com Sells MP3 Player Without Manual. CSR: "You won't need one."
By 10.28.07
Reader Sarah expected to receive a manual and software with the Creative Zen Micro she ordered from Geeks.com, but received neither. When she called to complain, a CSR told her the following:
“Oh, don’t even worry about that. These are SO easy to use, you won’t need a manual! I mean, if you had bought some cheap piece of Chinese crap, we would have had to supply a manual. But the Creative players are GREAT. You won’t need one.”
Sarah’s full email, after the jump.
