Christine learned an interesting bit of in-flight trivia on her recent United flight: those little call buttons are for emergencies only. What’s more, the flight attendants can psychically sense when it’s an emergency and when you’re just foolin’ with them, and they’ll ignore you if they suspect you’re just going to ask for water. And no, needing to take sinus medicine to prevent clusters of needle-explosions going off in your skull during descent is not an emergency, so go back to your seat.
airplanes
Passenger Only Gets Half Her Seat On Delta Flight
By 2.1.08
Julie found that only about half of her seat was available due to the size of the passenger next to her. The passenger was apologetic, but obviously couldn’t magically shrink her body mass and make more room. Julie asked if she could purchase a seat in first class but was told they were sold out, and there were no more seats available. “A flight attendant suggested that the only way to change my seat was to ‘find a cute boy or girl’ and sit on their lap.” Instead, she spent the flight half in her seat and half in the aisle. When she emailed a complaint to Delta and asked for a refund, they thanked her for her feedback.
Couple Paints "FU FAA" On Roof To Protest Jet Noise
By 1.24.08
Fed up with a change in flight patterns that made them sleep in bed at night with earplugs, one Philly couple decided to paint “FUCK YOU FAA. NO FLY ZONE” and a symbol for “no planes” on the top of their roof. Note: in real life, it says “fuck” but the newspaper photoshopped it to just say “FU.” Homeowner Michael Hall said they had tried to lodge complaints with the FAA noise-complaint hotline over 20 times, but whenever they called, an answering machines would apologize for not being able to take their message as the mailbox was full.
Mice Found On United Airlines Flight
By 1.9.08
United Airlines Flight UA897 from Washington to Beijing landed in China with a mice infestation onboard, reported a Chinese state official on Monday: “Eight mice, dead and (alive), were found at last … hidden in pillows.” An “emergency team” boarded the craft and “put rat poison and mouse traps at every possible corner on the aircraft, including the cockpit… the surviving mice were sent to labs for testing.”
By 1.3.08
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Last year was the safest year to fly in more than four decades, says the private Aircraft Crashes Record Office (ACRO). Hmm—maybe United has just been trying to take the record for safest flights by cancellng them all. [Reuters]
Frontier Kicks Grandmother Off Plane, Claims Her Pre-Approved Pet Carrier Was 2" Too Long
By 12.26.07
Frontier airlines kicked a cancer-surviving grandmother in her sixties, Julie Fishback, off their plane because the pet carrier holding her Jack Russell Terrier was two-inches too long. This surprised Julie, who had made the two-hour trek to the airport several days before to confirm that she would be allowed to fly with the “universally accepted” carry-on pet carrier she had recently purchased.
MAXjet Goes Bankrupt, Strands Passengers On Christmas Eve
By 12.26.07
On Monday, the young all-business-class airline MAXjet filed for bankruptcy protection and ceased all operations, “leaving jets on tarmacs and stranding passengers on Christmas Eve.” To compensate, the airline has been booking hotel rooms through early January 2008 in the four cities it served, and trying to arrange for other airlines to take on their passengers—”Continental Airlines and Silverjet Aviation Ltd., another all-business class carrier, said they would honor limited numbers of MAXjet tickets.”
Build Your Dream Airline
By 11.10.07
The USA Today tossed three travel experts in a room and asked them to describe their dream airline. An airline that restores the grandeur of flight by focusing on passenger value and convenience. Pay attention airlines, and consider giving us the following:
TSA Asks Passengers In San Diego To Smuggle Fake Bombs On Planes
By 10.22.07
Turns out there’s a hidden gem in that 2006 TSA report that was recently leaked to USA Today (and previously written about here)—among the various stats and figures is the following statement: “At San Diego International Airport, tests are run by passengers whom local TSA managers ask to carry a fake bomb, said screener Cris Soulia, an official in a screeners union.”
By 9.22.07
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A small plane carrying four passengers clipped a pole, skipped across several cars—including one that had people in it—and crashed into an empty car Wednesday night in a Tennessee shopping center parking lot. All four airplane passengers survived. [CNN]
New Boeing 787 More Likely Than Other Planes To Be Unsafe… After Crashing?
By 9.19.07
UPDATE: Cirrus Designs, UCLA, and Airbus refute these claims.
There Is No Law Or Regulation That Says Airplanes Have To Have Working Toilets
By 8.10.07
“We have no rules regarding restrooms,” U.S. Department of Transportation spokesman Bill Mosley said, suggesting that the Environmental Protection Agency be asked.
Virgin America Begins Flying The Crowded Skies
By 8.8.07
Virgin America has taken off, according to USAToday. The carrier had to fight hard to convince US authorities it was not an extension of Richard Branson’s “worldwide aviation empire” and, instead, something new. But will it be?
In-Flight Bunk Beds: Would You Rather Fly "Horizontally?"
By 8.7.07
Economy-class passengers have had to settle for being packed into tightly regimented reclining seats for extended periods of travel, which have been blamed for causing potentially fatal blood clots known as deep-vein thrombosis, or DVT, in susceptible individuals.
By 6.27.07
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How badly must have the child been screaming for his tantrum over apple juice that “the stewardess didn’t bring quickly enough” to force the plane to make an emergency landing? Maybe he was really crying because Delta, like every other airline, has been quietly liquefying his frequent flyer miles.
Airlines Flying Old Planes, Not Buying New Ones
By 6.13.07
According to Reuters, the “legacy” airlines are flying old planes and not ordering any new ones. The youngest fleet belongs to Continental—their planes have an average age of 10 years. So why aren’t airlines buying any new, more fuel efficient planes?
US Airways Hires 1,000 New Employees To Ignore Your Complaints
By 4.28.07
US Airways is attempting to restore its ailing customer service operation by hiring 1,000 employees ahead of the summer travel season. The airline also plans to replace 600 self-ticketing kiosks that did not work, with kiosks that work. A decision like that just had to come after a long study undertaken by a committee.
On board its airplanes, US Airways said it would improve the quality of its food-and-beverage offerings in all classes of services on both domestic and transatlantic flights, including offering more and better meals for sale in coach.
Perhaps most useful, the airline, which also posted a $34 million first quarter profit, promised to create ‘passenger operations centers’ that would monitor inbound flights for potential connection delays and send customer service representatives to meet affected passengers at the gate with rebooked flights and, if needed, meal and hotel vouchers. — CAREY GREENBERG-BERGER
