So let’s say you work at a hardware store, or other Do-It-Yourself home improvement spot. Sure, you get a bunch of customers on a day-to-day basis, but then one day… One day it’s different. There are suddenly hordes of demanding customers tearing apart the shelves and buying up all the ropes and cable ties. To prepare its workers for this possibility upon this weekend’s release of S&M fiction turned movie Fifty Shades of Grey, a British chain has issued a memo to its workers with a convenient plot outline, warning them to expect a rush of customers.

The UK chain issued a memo to staff, urging them to either read the book or see the movie so they can be in the know about what’s popular for their customers, reports Wales Online.

“Copies of the book will be delivered to each store and can be lent to staff on a one week basis,” the memo reads. “Understanding the storyline and how some products that B&Q stock feature in the film will better prepare staff for incoming queries.”

No, there’s nothing to do with power tools (as we know them, at least), but there is a scene where the main character, an unbelievably rich guy with a room dedicated to sex toys and a helicopter at his disposal, stops at a hardware store to buy rope, cables ties and tape.

“We stock many of the products featured in this notable scene and then used later in the film,” the memo explains, adding that such a rush has happened before.

“When the book was released in 2012 DIY and hardware stores in the UK and US reported increased demand of certain products and queries from customers as they tried to recreate their own Fifty Shades experiences.”

To keep an eye on the business aspect of things, store managers should “monitor stock levels of rope, cable ties, masking tape and duct tape to ensure that supplies do not run low.”

The memo ends, “If you have any questions or concerns relating to the contents of this briefing please speak to your regional manager.”

Though staff were urged to keep the content of the briefing to themselves, apparently someone just couldn’t contain their excitement, as it’s now been shared with the world. If, that is, it’s real and not some hoax designed to make us all giggle about sexy stuff originally written as Twilight fan fiction.

In the meantime, if you do purchase any props, movie theaters would appreciate it if you leave those at home.

Read the LEAKED B&Q memo warning staff of the 50 Shades of Grey effect [WalesOnline]

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.