Man Upset About Sandwich Throws Snake Behind Tim Hortons Counter

Breakfast sandwiches are serious business. Two men are in police custody in Saskatchewan, Canada after one of them threw a snake behind the counter at a Tim Hortons coffee shop. Why throw a snake? It’s not quite clear why someone would weaponize serpents, but the fast-food dispute involved the question of whether Tim Hortons should dice its onions on sandwiches.

According to police, the argument began at 7:30 this morning, when two 20-year-old men stopped by their local Tim Hortons and began arguing with the employee at the counter over the crucial issue of whether onions should be diced in a sandwich or not. (Depends on the type of sandwich: diced onions are more likely to fall out unless you’re eating a pita or the diced onions are in a tuna, chicken, or deviled ham salad.) One of the men reached into the other’s coat pocket and hurled something behind the counter at his opponent: a snake.

The CBC reports that employees ran away. While the snake turned out to be a small, completely non-poisonous, and adorable garter snake, they didn’t know that at the time. When someone weaponizes a snake and throws it at you, it’s wise to get out of the way quickly.

The snake-throwers remain in police custody, and will face charges of mischief and causing a disturbance. Yes, “mischief,” that’s the word.

The snake is in custody, too: it is hanging out in a foster home until spring, when it will be released into the wild. It may be wondering what it ever did to deserve months in snake jail.

Man tosses snake behind Tim Hortons counter over diced onion dispute [CBC] (Thanks, Derek!)