The Inevitable Comes To Pass: Of Course A “Sexy Ebola Containment Suit” Exists

As the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, as the Earth doth go round the moon and as strangers will inevitably call me Mary despite evidence that that is not, in fact, my name, we as a society cannot resist the temptation to create topical Halloween costumes. But we’re also not content with just one iteration, say, of an Ebola Containment Suit costume for Halloween this year. Nope. There inevitably had to be a a Sexy Ebola Containment Suit costume.

And so it has come to pass: There’s regular containment, and then there’s sexy containment.

What makes sexy containment different than your run-of-the-mill hazardous cleanup? You’re fighting Ebola in style, and will be cutting such a shape throughout the upper echelons that the world’s most fashionable people will be clamoring for your style. Sure, we’ll go with that.

“As the deadly Ebola virus trickles its way through the United States, fighting its disease is no reason to compromise style. The short dress and chic gas mask will be the talk of Milan, London, Paris, and New York as the world’s fashionistas seek global solutions to hazmat couture. Ending plague isn’t the endeavor of a single woman, so be sure to check out our men’s Ebola Containment Costume for a great couple’s costume idea.”

It seems appropriate to end this on a simple note: Sigh.