Good news, women of the world! The only occasions you’re going to have in your life to buy shoes boil down to finding your first husband and taking the kids to school. At least, according to Nine West’s “Shoe Occasions” category, which includes two lonely entries: “Starter Husband Hunting” and “First Day of Kindergarten.”

Because everyone knows that when a woman is pregnant she’s barefoot, and apparently will have no occasion to shod her feet after catching that lucky fella and crying buckets of motherly tears when the young ones go to school, right?

But what about shoes for delivering the baby, asks Buzzfeed’s Sapna Maheshwari on Twitter? Or shoes to accompany said starter husband to the Big Dinner At The Boss’ House Where It’s Very Important We Make A Good Impression?

Not even going to ask about shoes for a woman to wear when she hears there are only two important shoe occasions in life and snagging your first job/signing an important client/being a normal person aren’t included.

There are apparently no shoes for that in Nine West’s world. Or least, not a curated list. You’re on your own, women.

We reached out to Nine West to see if there are perhaps other “occasions” coming down the pipeline, or if there’s really nothing worth buying shoes for in between husband-hunting and kindergarten. We’ll let you know if we hear back.

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