SeaWorld Edges Out Ticketmaster, Joins Walmart In Worst Company Quarterfinals!
Round Two action continued today, with two Worst Company tournament newcomers each taking on established WCIA vets. In the end, one of those freshmen fighters was sent packing, while the other managed to eke out a victory against a company who has left such an indelible mark on the tournament’s history that it belongs in the WCIA Runner-Up Hall of Something That Rhymes With Fame But Means The Opposite.
SEAWORLD VS. TICKETMASTER
For the last four or five tournaments, Ticketmaster was a lock to make it all the way to the Final Four. The company even had a shot at the Final Death Match back in 2010 before losing out to Comcast. Any hopes for Ticketmaster making another run at the Golden Poo in 2014 were dashed this afternoon when it lost a buzzer-beater to tournament upstart SeaWorld.
SeaWorld had an impressive WCIA debut in Round One, sending Johnson & Johnson home without even a Tylenol for its pain, but today’s match was much closer, with the controversial theme park operator not even able to get 53% of the vote against the combined powers of Ticketmaster and Live Nation. SeaWorld will test the time-tested theory that everyone hates banks when it goes up against Chase in the quarterfinals.
WALMART VS. ABERCROMBIE & FITCH
In Round One, Abercrombie pulled off a huge upset, handily beating Delta Air Lines (and looking good while doing it). But all that hair-mussing must have taken the overly-scented wind out of A&F’s sails, as the clothing retailer got the ever-living crud beaten out of it by WCIA powerhouse Walmart in today’s Round Two match.
The nation’s largest retailer took home more than two-thirds of the vote today, but it will have a much more difficult mountain to climb when it faces two-time tournament runner-up (and one-time winner if you include the Golden Poo given to Countrywide many moons ago), Bank of America in the quarterfinals.
We’re halfway through Round Two. Voting resumes on Monday morning!
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