There are always going to be bad consumers out there doing bad things, like stealing from Walmart. Awful. But not all bad consumers have reasons for thieving that can make us start laughing uncontrollably, then in starts and fits every time we think about it again. Presenting: The guy who stole $342 worth in cat food so he could sell it to his friend who has 300 cats.

Yes, 300 cats. Hang on, fit of laughter.

Ahem. Hoo. Okay. I’ve got this. Anyway, the Clearwater, Fla. man accused of shoplifting from Walmart allegedly filled up an entire shopping cart of cat food and simply walked out to his car without paying, reports WTSP.com.

When the police arrived on the scene, the suspect made no bones about his reason to steal — while some people might be stealing just because you know, they don’t want to pay for stuff, he had a longer con in mind: He told cops he was going to sell the cat food to one of his friends who happens to have 300 cats, and also sell it to others in what he calls “hustling.”

The cat hustler, ladies and gentlemen. We can all rest easy knowing that he was sent to jail and charged with one count of Grand Theft Cat Food Hustling. Or the first half of that, at least.

(Man) stole $342 in cat food from Walmart in Clearwater [WTSP.com]

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