Is there a basement workshop somewhere, with a cackling Dr. Frankenpastry who just cannot wait to unleash yet another hybrid breakfast food on the world? And does he have an unlimited supply of croissants to operate on because of course, there’s now a cragel and a crogel — bagels crossed with croissants, obviously — to haunt our dreams. Come with us now if you want to live.

Listen, as long as you stay a safe distance away from these things, maybe you won’t get stuck in a swirling, bottomless vortex of chitchat about them. It’s better we tell you about them now so you can be prepared, right?

The crogel is a new (ish, because come on) creation from a Connecticut grocery store chain called Stew Leonard’s, which has apparently sold 1,000 crogels in the first few days, reports USA Today.

“So far, it looks like it’s going to be more popular than the cro-do,” the store’s owner and CEO, Stew Leonard himself, says. Oh, okay?

He adds that it’s healthier than a cronut however, because it’s not fried. The crogel is croissant dough shaped into the size of a bagel and then kettle boiled, before a turn in the hearth baking.

Then of course, the cragel, which is entirely (skepticism font: employed) different from the crogel, because in this case the croissant dough and bagel dough are intertwined. It’s sold at two bagel stores in Brooklyn.

“The cronut came out last year and it helped to push the whole hybrid thing,” the owner says, claiming he thought of the cragel years ago but the world just was not ready… until the cronut came along and made anyone who doesn’t live in New York sick of hearing about them, along with the large part of the city that doesn’t like waiting in ridiculously long lines for a pastry.

If you’re into the cragel, it’s available online. Now excuse us while we shimmy out of the room in a super sneaky, yet artful, dance-like way.

First the cronut, now the crogel and cragel [USA Today]

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.